The Rising
by Lainielove7
Summary: Few know the full story of Lily Evans-her relationships with Severus, James, and Petunia, along with the reasons why she joined the Order. This is a well-written story that uses details from the books to piece together how her life might have been
1. Chapter 1

Hello, everyone! If you love Lily and James (who doesn't!) I'm sure you're going to LOVE this book! It's about their relationship, starting in 5th year (the year James hangs Severus upside down) and goes through their 7th year (when they start dating!) and then when they got married, when they joined the Order of the Phoenix, and the night they died. It also explores the complicated relationship between Lily and Severus. Finally, it takes into account the rise of the Death Eaters and how Lily and James decided to fight against them at such a young age. I try to follow the book as much as I can, but if you have suggestions, please let me know! I want to maintain accuracy, but, as some of you writers may know, there are so many details in the books that it's difficult!

You will love the small details I have added about things Harry found out about his parents during his life, so make sure to be looking for those!

Also, the first chapter includes Lily's Muggle parents going to the train station with her. I thought hard about adding this part, and did so because of the scene in the 7th book from Severus' memory where Lily is at the train station and she is indeed with her parents. I figured they would continue to come at her request.

I do not own any of the characters, they are the creative property of JK Rowling. Enjoy :)

CHAPTER ONE

King Cross Station was abustle with families, not unlike it usually was during this time of year. Three people were standing in front of a large train amongst the people: a mother, slender build with dark red hair that came to her shoulders and soft facial features, a father, tall and somewhat bulky with a thick mustache and graying hair, and their daughter, young and beautiful with the same hair as her mother's along with prettiest green eyes that seemed to pierce like a basilisk. The parents, like the rest of the families at the train station, were saying goodbye to their child. However, different from the other parents was the fact that they kept looking around at everything that was going on around them, as if they had hardly ever viewed the scene that they were immersed in.

"Mum, Dad, will you stop gazing around?" the girl said with a laugh, her green eyes sparkling. "You might as well just go ahead and announce to the whole station that you're Muggles." A shiny badge with the letter "P" was displayed proudly on the front of her school clothes, symbolizing to everyone that she had been chosen to be a Prefect for the upcoming school year.

Her mother smiled warmly. "We only get to experience this sort of thing once a year," she reminded her.

"Exactly," the father agreed. "We have to take in as much as we can. We only have seven more years of this."

The girl rolled her eyes and began watching a young mother fix her son's black school robes before sending him off on the train. "Dad, we don't go to school for twelve years, only seven. So you only have two years left of this."

His eyes quickly filled with longing at the sound of her words. "But it is all so fascinating, this world. We could hardly stand being ripped away from it after five years of dropping you off at the train station. Couldn't you mess up a few classes here or there so you would have to stay an extra year or two?" he teased and she burst out in a beautiful laugh.

"I'm the top of my class right now, you wouldn't want me to ruin that would you?"

Her mother beamed at the sound of this news, but Lily knew it saddened her a little; she would never be able to boast to her friends over tea about her youngest daughter's success like other mothers could. Their daughter's life had to be kept a secret, for fear of being called crazy if they recounted stories of magic wands and flying broomsticks.

"Where is Petunia today?" Lily asked the question that had hung in the air since they drove in the car by themselves, without her older sister.

Lily's father straightened up and cleared his throat. "She had other plans with her friends," he explained.

"We tried to get her to come, Lily," Christine said with an exasperated sigh.

Lily smiled at them reassuringly, wishing they would understand that her strained relationship with her older sister was in no way their fault. In fact, Lily blamed herself everyday of her life; if she had never gotten magic in the first place, Petunia would have never be angry about not getting magic herself. Often when they were younger, she would beg Lily to give up Hogwarts and come back to regular school. But for Lily, there was nothing more disgraceful then denying who you truly are. Magic was just as much a part of her life as the air she breathed. And she was good at it.

The change of subject that would have come naturally came instead in the form of a boy with long hair that was as black as night and eyes to match, with a hooked nose on his hardened face. He smiled at Lily and she greeted him warmly. "Hello, Severus. Dad, Mum you remember Severus Snape."

"Of course, how are you, son?" Lily's father greeted in a gruff tone, extending out a firm hand.

Severus looked at him apprehensively before grasping his hand and answered him in a shaking voice; whether that had to do with him being Lily's father or a Muggle, Lily would never know. She appreciated her parents being kind to him. Severus, as nice as he was, was not the type of person her family usually associated with. Her father worked for a financial company and was always trying to impress the next big person—Severus, with his grungy look and unfriendly features, certainly appeared far from being someone important.

When Lily had first introduced her parents to Severus, three years ago, she had closed her eyes and prayed that he would say something to impress them. Of course, Severus was in no way smooth and had mumbled some sort of compliment to her mother before turning away awkwardly. But while no one saw good in Severus, Lily saw it shining as bright as a lighthouse caught in a nighttime storm.

"Are you excited for this school year?" Lily asked him kindly, cutting through the silence. He smiled at her with appreciation.

"Yes, although I am not quite looking forward to the O.W.L's."

She nodded her agreement and turned to her parents. "Those are the tests I told you about years ago, the ones we have to take our fifth year. They help us determine what we will be doing after we complete our schooling."

Her mother's eyes grew wild with confusion as they darted back in forth between Severus and her daughter. "What you will be doing? But I thought...I thought you would be coming home after you're done at this school. Getting a job with your father or going to school to become a teacher—you have always loved children, Lily."

"Mum," Lily said cooly, keeping herself as composed as she always had been. "I don't know what I want to do yet. I promise, I will discuss it with you over Christmas holiday."

"I better get on the train," Severus told her softly. Her green eyes met his, filled with a thousand apologies that she would never say aloud for fear of embarrassing him. He mumbled something along the lines of 'nice seeing you again' to Mr. and Mrs. Evans, picked up his luggage, and climbed the steps to the Hogwarts Express.

"Lily," her father said with a sigh. "I just don't see why you associate with him. He is not your type. He's so..."

"What?" Lily snapped, her sweet voice now filled with contempt. "What is he? Different? Because in case you haven't noticed, I'm different too."

Her mother shook her head vigorously. "No, honey, you're not. You have always been unique, and this new discovery about yourself only fits in with how you have been your entire life. But that boy is...well, just not someone we would like you associating with."

"Exactly," her father continued before she could reply. "Now where is that one boy we met last year? Oh what was his name? Patcher, Presley...?"

"Potter!" her mother exclaimed happily. "Yes, that nice boy James Potter. Now _he_ is someone worthy of our little girl."

Lily scowled and quickly glanced around, making sure James was not in earshot of this conversation. A bigger head was the last thing James needed for the upcoming school year. She saw him at the far end of the platform standing with his parents, a pretty plump woman and a tall, handsome man. Both seemed a lot older than the other parents, and had graying hair to prove it. Lily knew that his dad, who was standing tall and proud, was someone special in the Ministry, and James was known to brag about him every time the subject was brought up. From the first time she had seen Mr. Potter at the train station her second year, she had immediately realized where James got his attitude.

"James Potter is an arrogant, self-centered, prat. And he just further proves my point—you cannot judge a person by the outside." Passion was filling her eyes with every whispered world. "If you ever got to know Severus, you would know he was brilliant at Potions. And he is the most sensitive person I have ever met. And he listens to me better than anyone I have ever spoken with. I know what you see in each of them—James is a confident, well-spoken boy, one that will sure to be successful one day, while Severus is unkempt, awkward, and seemingly going nowhere. But you're...you're...you're just w...wrong." She closed her eyes at her anticlimactic ending, taking a deep breath to recover.

Her father pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek. "We don't want you to be upset, darling. That's the last thing in the world we want to do."

"Yes," her mother agreed. "We just want you to be happy."

The train whistle blew, signaling it was time for the last of the students to board. "I know," Lily said quickly.

She was pulled into a tight hug by each of her parents. Her mother now had small tears streaming down her porcelain cheeks. "This never gets any easier, leaving you. Write to us?" she cried softly.

"Of course," Lily promised her. "And I'll be home before you know it, I promise." With a reassuring smile, she picked up her old brown trunk and headed for the train. She turned around and saw that her father had put his strong arm around her mother, comforting her as they watched their daughter go into the unknown for the fifth time in her life. "Tell Tuney I said goodbye," Lily called out to them. And then, filling her lungs with another deep breath, she stepped onto the Hogwarts Express, one again leaving the world that her family was immersed in, the world she had grown up in, completely behind.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I have a lot of the story written already, so updates will be quick, I promise. Again, leave suggestions, corrections, etc... on the comments. The story is going to move pretty quickly since there is a lot to cover about Lily's life! Enjoy :)

Again, I do not own the characters written about below, as they are the creative property of Ms. J.K. Rowling.

CHAPTER TWO

"No, I don't think so, Lily."

Laughter was filling Severus Snape's face, completely transforming it, as he made his next move on the chess board that was in front of them on the seat of the train. Lily had tried to move one of her rooks when Severus had gotten distracted by the trolley, but he had caught her just in time.

She grinned at him. "I wasn't really going to do it, Sev."

His eyes grew soft at the words, and he nodded. "I know. Besides, they wouldn't let you get away with cheating like that. My pieces have too much pride. Knight to G7!," he called to the game. At those words, his knight slowly moved forward and knocked the head off of her Queen with a boastful grin on his carved face.

"Unfair," Lily told him with another laugh. "I'm horrible at Wizard Chess. We've been playing for years and I don't think I've won one game!"

"Yes you have," he reminded her. "That one time we played in the library after class."

Lily threw her hands up dramatically. "That was only because you had gotten sick halfway through the game. You forfeited before running to the loo to throw up!"

Severus beamed at her, looking at her with such admiration as if she had just made the sun rise with her own two hands. It was as if he had never smiled until Lily Evans had come along, and now that it was happening on a regular basis, he felt as if she had undone some horrible curse that had been put on him.

"You still won, didn't you?" he asked.

"Yes. But right now, I think I'm going to forfeit—I'm getting motion sickness."

"I wouldn't pin that just on the train ride, Evans," said a voice at the door of the compartment. "It is most likely the smell of the trash you have decided to ride with."

The two of them looked up to see James Potter, with his messy black hair, strong jaw, and round glasses, grinning at them vindictively. Next to him, as always, were Sirius Black, Remus Lipin, and Peter Pettigrew; all four, like Lily and Severus, were dressed in their school robes. Sirius was a very handsome, confident boy who relished in the fact that he was chosen for Gryffindor, the outlier of his Slytherin family. Tall and thin Remus stood next to him, kind when he wanted to be and always looking somewhat sickly. Yet he still had the assurance that suggested he was worthy to hang out with popular James and Sirius. He also had a Prefect's badge on his shirt, although Lily had already learned this from her meeting in the Prefect's compartment at the beginning of the train ride.

Peter was the one who did seem to fit the mold that the small group had formed—he was short and round, with eyes that narrowed downward and a small nose plastered on his circular face.

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily asked. She glanced at Severus, who was now looking down at the chess board in order to avoid the glare of the four boys who made his life miserable.

James grinned. "I want you to some sit with us in our compartment, like I've been begging you to do for years. Come on, lose the zero, Lil."

"Don't call me Lil," Lily snapped. "And no, I am perfectly fine with Severus, thank you very much." Her green eyes were as much on fire as they were on the platform with her parents. There was something about James Potter that made her heart race with anger, that made her want to point her wand at him and shout the first curse that came to mind.

"Lily," Sirius said. His voice was as enchanting as his looks. "There has to come a point that you realize Snivelous here is a no good, grease ball rodent. We're almost to the end of our schooling now, so you don't have much time to revamp your image at Hogwarts.

"I don't need my image revamped, Black," Lily told him coldly. "I may not be as popular as you four, but I know that people enjoy my company for the person that I am."

The four boys made oohing sounds, mocking her with their voices and their eyes. James leaned forward on the edge of the compartment doorframe and gazed at her with charming brown eyes. He gave her a small smile. "Well, I've never had the chance to enjoy your company. How about Hogsmead next week?"

Lily leaned forward in her seat, so that her eyes were meeting his with the same amount of intensity burning inside. "James," she laughed lightly. And then her face washed with seriousness and she whispered, "I would rather be attacked by a Hippogriff!"

The smile on his face and in his eyes faded instantly at the sound of her rejection, and his three friends laughed. "Have fun with Snivelous," James told her with a scowl before storming off back to his compartment. His friends, still laughing, immediately trailed after him.

Lily sighed and leaned back in her seat. "Sorry about that,Severus. I don't know why he can't just leave me alone."

The compartment was silent for a minute—Snape had not yetbroken his gaze from the chess board. Finally, he looked up at her, his dark eyes filled with grief. Her heart sunk at the sight.

"Would you ever go on a date with him?" He was speaking so soft that she could barely hear him over the roar of the train on the track, only understanding him because she knew was he was going to ask before he asked it.

"No," Lily said immediately, almost too quickly. But Severus, accepting what she had said as the truth without a second thought, smiled once more.

"Good. He's not right for you, Lily. You're better than him."

The train was slowing down now, close to its destination. They stood with their classmates and got off the train, greeted with the familiar sight of the beautiful castle known as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Lily's heart began to flutter at the sight, just as it had since the first time her green eyes had set upon it. When she was at Hogwarts, it was as if she had never known the Muggle world that she was once a part of. This place was for her, like so many, a home beyond her wildest fantasies.

Ever since she was little, while Petunia would be practicing her impeccable perfection in the mirror, when she walked, when she spoke, Lily was always trying to become like her sister. But she had always been independent, and fitting to a mold never seemed to work for her. There was always something in her heart, something that was so overpowering she had feared it would one day consume her, that screamed how different she was from the rest of her family, from the rest of the world, even. Even from a very young age, she felt that there was something inside of her that made her odd; yet that something was refusing to come out. And then, on a warm spring evening, it appeared like an old friend.

Petunia had been ten and Lily had been eight. They were playing in the park, as they always did after dinner. Petunia was wearing a brand new floral dress that their mother had made for her, while Lily, who had worn the dress outside, had immediately changed behind the bushes into a pair of boys pants and a sweater while her mother was inside, unaware.

_"I don't understand why you can't just wear the clothes that Mummy likes," Petunia had told her. Her brown eyes were sneering and her lips were pressed together, making her resemble the elderly lady who lived next door who was always yelling at Lily for walking on her grass._

_"Because, Tuney, then I wouldn't be able to do this." With a grin she raced full speed toward the tall tree in the center of the park and began to scurry up it._

_"Lily!" Petunia scolded. "I'm going to tell Mummy and Daddy on you!"_

_Lily had laughed at her sister, as she always did at her threats. Petunia, though unusually strict with her younger sister, would never betray her. "Tuney, come up here! The view is beautiful!"_

_Petunia crossed her arms and sat down on a bench with a scowl. "You're going to fall, Lily, and then how am I going to get you home? You will break your leg and you will have to stay here all night by yourself!"_

_"Alright!" Lily giggled with bravery as she climbed a little higher. "I could stay here by myself. I could just..." But before she could finish the sentence, her footing had slipped and she tumbled toward the ground with a high pitched scream. With a shriek of her own, Petunia closed her eyes, unable to watch her younger sister hit the ground. However, when no thud came, she popped them back open and saw Lily levitating three inches above the brown dirt. And then, only when Lily had seen what was happening, did she gently fall to the ground._

_"How..." Petunia had asked. Lily remembered the fear in her eyes as she backed away from her sister, as if she had some terrible disease. "How did you do that?"_

_Lily, trembling, stood up on wobbly legs. "I don't know," she said softly. "One second I was falling and then next, I was floating! It was like...it was like magic!"_

_With that, Petunia had run home, leaving Lily, mind racing, behind. She immediately told their parents that Lily had climbed the forbidden tree in the park, leaving out the part about the young girl falling. Lily came home to an angry mother and a smirking sister, happy that Lily had gotten in trouble for what she had done. But Lily was not concerned with her mother's anger or her sister's betrayal. She wasn't even filled with many questions about what had happened. The only thing she was concerned with was that finally, for the first time in Lily's young life, she felt as if she had found out who she was truly meant to be, the part of her that had been bottled up inside her since she could remember._

Severus touched her arm, snapping her back into reality. "Come on, Lil," he told her. They both climbed into the carriages in front of them, which drove themselves to the castle.

"You look sad," he said after a minute of silence between the two went by, only filled by the sounds of five other fifth years talking in the carriage. "What's wrong? Is it what Potter said on the train?" He spat out the word 'Potter' as if it was a curse word, too vial to even be on his tongue.

"No, I'm just missing Petunia. I wish she could see this; I know she would love it."

Severus did not say anything to this, but simply nodded and turned to look outside into the darkness. Lily knew he did not like Petunia because of how she treated Lily, but it was hard for her to cast her only sister aside so easily. Sure, she could be cruel sometimes, sure she found it impossible to move past jealousy and love her sister, sure she was Muggle, nothing special to the people in Lily's world—but she had always been Lily's rock, the one who supported Lily when she was treading on new and dangerous ground. And here at Hogwarts, the most dangerous, exciting ground she had ever walked on, her older sister was not there to help her. From the time she had been eleven and had first gotten onto that train, Lily was on her own, separated from everything warm and comfortable and safe that she had ever known.

"Sev?" Lily asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah?"

"You would never leave me, right? You'll always be there?"

He paused for a minute, his eyes dancing with confusion-or was it worry? They scared Lily, as if he was going to tell her an answer that she did not want to hear. She quickly averted her gaze.

And then she felt his cold hand at the top of hers. It sent shivers down her spine, but not from the lack of heat. "Yes, I will always be here for you. You're my best friend, Lil." His black hair fell in front of his face, and he removed his hand to push it behind his ears.

"You too." Lily replied with the truth. And yet the smile on her face, the one Severus took to mean that she was happy, was completely forced.

The feast at the Great Hall went by with little excitement, and the next day, students dove into the first day of classes with some reluctance.

Now it was the end of the first week, and Lily was in Potions class, working on a Potions assignment with Severus.

"Okay, now you need to shake the Elixir before you put it into the pot," Severus told her as he carefully measured out a beaker of green goop. "That way it will pour more slowly so the pot doesn't boil over."

Lily stared at him blankly. "That's not in the directions," she told him.

"Lil, I've told you a million times, we're not following the directions. I don't know why you can't get over that," he said with a laugh.

"Because when I worked by myself, I manage to get the Potion perfect with the directions..."

"Almost perfect," he corrected.

She groaned. "Okay, I guess if that's how you want to be. But I'm not bad at Potions, you have to admit."

"Of course you're not bad. You're brilliant, Lily."

Lily blushed and turned away, mumbling a quick thank you. Despite the fact that she was Muggle-born, spells and potions came as naturally to Lily as breathing. However, the only person she could never seem to beat was Severus in Potions class. He always seemed to have a new, inventive way of following the directions that made his Potion turn out the best in the class. Whenever he was her partner, the two could not be outshone.

Lily looked up from her Potions book to see Severus writing in his own copy, his handwriting neat and rigid. He seemed almost immersed in the script. "Why are you always writing in your book?" she asked him.

Now it was his turn to blush as he slammed the cover of the book closed and began looking busy with the jars of ingredients in front of him. "It's nothing, alright, just a few adjustments to the directions and some spells and stuff. It's private." His voice snapped the last line, taking Lily aback a little.

She held up her hands in surrender. "Alright, I won't ask anymore. Now what did you say to do to the Elixir?"

"Shake it." Severus' voice still sounded slightly angry, and he must have realized this because he repeated himself, this time more gently, and added in a small smile.

Lily did what he said and then slowly poured the mixture into the steaming pot in front of them. Just as Severus had said, the mixture bubbled like a pot of water just starting to boil. She looked up at her other classmates whose pots had boiled over.

Their teacher, Professor Slughorn, sprinted over to the two the second his eyes met their perfect pot of potion. He was round and short, with dull eyes that suddenly came to life at the first sign of brilliance in one of his students. He seemed to get his lifeblood from taking some part in the success of others. "Well done Miss Evans and Mr. Snape! Well done indeed!" he exclaimed so the entire class could hear. "See class, this is what I expect out of every one of you. We will start with this potion again on Tuesday until every single student has gotten it right. Remember my motto—no student left behind! And don't forget that we have our first examination on Monday over chapters one through five in the book. Class dismissed!"

"Oh, the exam," Lily said with a groan. With the workload of her other classes, she had completely forgotten that Professor Slughorn had assigned the exam on the first day of class, despite the many groans of complaint. Well, she thought, there goes my entire weekend.

"You have nothing to worry about, Evans," said a voice from behind her. She did not even need to turn around to know who it belonged to. "With the human Potions book to help you study, there's no way you can do badly. Although, from what I've heard good old Sluggy proclaim, you're not too bad yourself."

"Leave us alone, Potter," she snapped as she whirled around. James was alone—his friends had hurried out of the classroom before him.

James held up both hands in surrender, which were free from any sort of book that he ought to be carrying. "No need to snap. I wanted to apologize about what I said on the train the other day."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You have a funny way of apologizing. And if you're really sorry, why don't you say it to Severus."

"Lily, don't..." Severus said quietly.

"Fine then, I'm..." James started, but Severus had already snatched his books into his arms and was sprinting out the door and up the stairs.

"Sev!" Lily called after him. Picking up her own books, she turned to follow him, but was stopped by James' hand on her arm. "What is it, James? You already apologized. I accept, alright? But don't think it's going to make us friends, especially if you go right back to the way you have been acting."

James' eyes twinkled as they met her own, sending a spark of electricity down her spine. She stared at him curiously, wondering why he was acting this way toward her after years of annoyance. "I wanted to make a bet with you."

She hesitated for a minute then took the bait. "What kind of bet?"

"I bet you that I will do better than you on the exam on Monday."

Lily snorted as she laughed out loud. "What?" she said. "Are you serious?" And then when he nodded she asked him, "And what will I get if I win?"

He shrugged. "What do you want?"

She thought for a moment-she had never thought the moment would come when she would be able to take something from James Potter. It had to be something good, something really good. Finally, she decided. "Alright. If I do better than you on the exam on Monday, you have to not talk for an entire week."

"Okay," he told her. "And if I do better than you on the exam on Monday, you have to let me take you out on one date."

"No way."

"Why?" he grinned. "Do you think you'll lose? If you know you'll win, you have nothing to worry about, right?"

She rolled her eyes once more and then locked them with his, extending out a hand. "Alright, deal. But just remember what you said earlier—I have the best Potions tutor in this school right at my fingertips. You're going down, Potter."

"Yeah, Evans? We'll see about that."

Flashing her a boyish grin, he smoothly left the room. She could not help but smile at that encounter they just had—James Potter was actually civil to her for once in his life. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he did not have his pose to impress, but Lily was uninterested in the reason. All she cared about was the fact that James was going to lose the bet to her, that she was going to have one peaceful week where she would not have to hear his loud mouth as she walked down the hallways or into the Great Hall.

As she came out of the dungeons, Severus approached her quickly. "What's your problem?" she asked him. "Why did you run away?"

"What did he want?" he asked her, ignoring her questions.

She shot him an annoyed glare. "Why do you care?"

His shrug was apathetic and relaxed, but Lily could tell by his eyes that he was dying for answers. "I don't care. I was just curious. Now what happened?"

"If you must know," she answered sharply. "James wanted to make a bet as to who would get the higher score on the Potions test, him or me."

"And what was the wager?"

"That he couldn't talk for an entire week when I win. Can you imagine it, Severus? An entire week without James Potter's flapping his annoying trap!"

He showed no change in emotion at the sound of this and instead asked, "And if he won?"

"Then I have to go out on a date with him." And then she watched his entire face drop into one of complete depression. "But that's not going to happen, Sev," she told him quickly. "Can you imagine James Potter beating me on any sort of test, even if it is Potions? He's lost too many brain cells from bludgers to the head. And besides, I have you to help me study."

"Yes, we should probably start that right away," he told her overenthusiastically, taking her arm to lead her into the library.

She laughed and tugged away from his overly-tight grasp. "Sev, I told you I'm meeting Adalyn in the Gryffindor Common Room to help her study for Configuration. She's paying me three gallons a week to tutor her. Oh, come on Severus, we have all weekend to study," she added as his saddened expression became even more so.

"Meet me at the library in the morning?" she asked him and he nodded his agreement. "Bye, Sev, see you tomorrow!" she called and he watched with longing as she flitted away toward the Gryffindor dormitories.

The weekend went by quickly, and just as Lily had suspected, it was wasted with her nose buried in her Potions book. When Monday arrived, Lily felt as prepared as if she had not studied at all. She trusted in the fact that she would recognize that answers with the exam in front of her and that she was certain James had not studied at all-there was hardly a moment that she saw him without the company of his friends.

With the exam in front of her, she began writing her name in a shaky script. There was something about the first test of the school year that made her nerves go insane. She would find herself staring blankly at a test question that she knew from memory, as if she hadn't studied at all. And to make it worse, James Potter was sitting next to her scribbling down his pathetic attempt at answering the questions correctly.

As usual, the first question made her heart to drop in the pit of her stomach.

_What are the five uses for Paxil Petals?_

She fought the urge to look back at Severus, for fear of being accused of cheating and instead pictured his face in her mind, hoping that would spark some remembrance. It worked; she quickly scribbled down the answer and moved on to the next question.

After a long set of numberless minutes, she was suddenly snapped out of her concentration by the sound of Professor Slughorn's low voice. "Yes, Mr. Snape?" he asked.

The entire class, Lily included, turned to look at Severus, who was seated in the right hand corner of the back row. He blushed at the attention, and then cleared his throat to speak.

"Professor, Potter is cheating. He has his book under his robes."

James' eyes became wild with fury as he shot to his feet and shook out his clothing. "No I'm not, Professor," he protested loudly.

"Then he has the answers written on his arm!" Severus exclaimed.

Lily had never heard Snape speak that boldly. His black eyes were large and determined and his face looked alit with excitement. She wished he wouldn't do this, even if he knew Potter was cheating-James and his friends were only going to retaliate later. But she had to admit, she admired Severus' sudden audacity.

Professor Slughorn stepped forward. "Well, Mr. Potter?"

"I. Don't." James pulled up a sleeve of his robe on each word, exposing two perfectly clean forearms.

Immediately, Severus' mouth became a thin line of contempt, reminding Lily of her sister when she would get angry. He shot a fleeting glance at the door, as if he was contemplating running out of the classroom to avoid the ramifications of his actions. However, he simply sank down in his seat a little and waited for his professor to speak.

"Well, Mr. Snape," Professor Slughorn snapped. He walked toward Severus with intimidation in every step. "While I do not tolerate cheaters in my class, I also so not tolerate liars. Especially liars who attempt to get their classmates into trouble. You will be spending your evening with me in detention."

And then, he turned to the class. "Sorry for that little interruption. You will have ten minutes to finish the examination, and anyone who does not think that he or she will finish in time should speak with me about it."

Trying to push aside thoughts of what Severus had just done, Lily jotted down her final answers as most of the class was walking up to the front of the room to turn in their exams. When she stood up with her test, James stood up too. He smiled at her sweetly as they walked up to the front of the class together.

"Professor," James said. "If it's not too much trouble, could you grade me and Lily's tests? We studied together and want to see if our effort paid off."

He was so confident and charming when he talked that Lily almost wanted to take notes on how he did it. There was something about him, something that once frustrated Lily immensely but now held her fascination tight in its grasp, that made him able to get anything he wanted from someone.

"Of course, my dear boy! But I'm sure Miss Evans has nothing to worry about; she is one of my star students! I'm glad to hear you are utilizing her talent for my exams."

Lily smiled. "Thank you, Professor, but you're too kind."

"And modest too!" When he laughed, true to his name, he looked like a slug, with his eyes bulging out and his round belly shaking up and down. Lily stiffled a chuckle. "Oh, by the way, Miss Evans," he continued. "I am going to be having my first get together in two weeks. We missed you at the final two last year. You will be able to make it?"

On the outside, Lily smiled as she told him she would try her best, but on the inside she wanted to groan out loud. Everyone in the school knew that Slughorn had an absolute obsession with finding the most promising in the school in order to keep them as contacts if they one day become famous for their success. From the first time she had been the only one in the class, besides Severus, to complete a potion correctly during her first year, Slughorn had had his eye on her. After she continued to perform perfect potions in his class along with her other subjects, he began inviting her to the 'Slug Club,' as the rest of the school referred to it as. At first, she had been excited to be included in something so exclusive because of her talents, but after awhile, the dinners grew dull. Every year she hoped he would put an end to them or stop inviting her altogether, and every year her stomach sank as he asked if she was available for them.

While Lily was thinking of excuses as to why she couldn't attend, Slughorn graded the tests and handed them back to Lily and James individually. Lily's worried washed away and she grinned when she saw the ninety-seven written at the top of the page. She was about to turn to James when she heard Slughorn's excited voice.

"Excellent job, Mr. Potter! I suppose I underestimated you. Keep studying with Miss Evans; it is certainly paying off."

Lily glanced at the test in James' hand and her jaw dropped in shocked; written at the top of his page was a enormous red ninety-eight. Her entire body became numb as she contemplated how this could be possible, and she did not move a muscle until James bid Slughorn farewell and pulled Lily into the hallway.

"No way," she told him when they were out of earshot.

James' eyes twinkled in the light as he laughed. "Eleven o'clock tonight. Common Room."

"Eleven? Don't you want to be able to go out somewhere?"

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Evans. See you tonight." And with that, he ran up the steps to catch up with his friends, who had just come out of the room. She heard their loud laughs echoing off the walls.

After Lily had regained her composure, she didn't bother waiting for Severus outside the classroom; she knew he would be embarrassed about what happened. Instead, she went to the Great Hall to get dinner with some of her other friends and then went back to her room to study and relax the inevitable tonight.

But for some reason, what started out as dread turned to excitement within Lily as each hour passed. She even had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down. This worried her-how could she be excited about going out on a date with James Potter, the same boy who she not only rejected for the past three years, but absolutely loathed. But there was something about his eyes, something about his smile, that enticed her like it never had before. Like a little kid waiting for freshly baked cookies, Lily looked at the clock with pure anticipation.

When eleven o'clock finally came, Lil emerged in the Common Room where James was waiting alone. He stood up when she entered the room; there was a large silver blanket draped over his arm.

"So, do you have a nice cozy date by the fire planned?" she asked with a laugh.

James smiled and her heart fluttered. "I thought we would go out tonight," he told her smoothly.

"What? Potter, we can't leave the dormitories. We'll get in trouble."

Without responding to this, he held up the silver blanket and Lily realized that it was actually a cloak. And then, he draped it over himself. Both he and the cloak completely disappeared from sight.

"Oh my goodness..." Lily gasped, reaching out to run her fingers along the invisible fabric. "Where did you get this?"

He appeared once more, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "My dad."

Lily looked up at him and grinned, fully understanding his plan now. "We can't."

"I do it all the time."

"You do it all the time? Have you ever gotten caught?"

He frowned at her and his brown eyes narrowed. "If I had gotten caught, do you think I would still have this? So, are you ready?"

"Potter..."

James took her hand into his and laced their fingers together. A new gleam of excitement washed over his face. "Lily, live a little."

And then she was under the cloak with him and strolling down the hallways after hours. The path was barely lit by candlelight. It seemed eerie to Lily, and she stifled a shudder.

James led her toward the east hallway. A strong desire of protest came over Lily, but she remained quiet in case their whispered voices caused them to be caught. After a few minutes, they stopped in front of a gilded framed painting of a tall, rich-looking woman asleep in a leather chair. Cautiously, James pulled it open, revealing a tunnel on the other side. Questions of how he discovered this secret passageway burned through Lily, driving her crazy because of the required silence. And then, only when they were safely outside and out of ear shot of any nighttime wanderers, did she ask him where they were going.

"The Shrieking Shack," he replied calmly.

"But you have to go past the Whomping Willow to get there," she reminded him.

However, he simply laughed once more and begged her to cast her worries aside. A foreign trust began to fill her, a kind of trust that she hadn't felt since she was at the park with Petunia, when she had thought the secrets of her mischief would never be revealed by her older sister. If someone had asked her a half hour ago, she would have never thought there was a person in the world who could convince her to sneak out of her dormitory to the Shrieking Shack. And yet here she was. There was something so convincing about James, something that caused a heart-pounding adrenaline rush to flow through her veins, begging her to comply.

James turned himself around, still under the cloak for cautionary reasons. "Okay, here's the plan. When we get near, we're going to take the cloak off and run underneath the tree. There's a knot under one of the trunks that I'm going to touch to get it to stop attacking us. Then we'll be able to go through the door."

Lily frowned. "I really want to ask you how you know this, but I'm sure you're not going to tell me."

He chuckled at this. "Not tonight. Are you ready?"

Heart pounding, hands shaking, she nodded excitedly and he counted to three. He ripped the cloak off of them, grabbed her hand once more, and they took off running, like two school children playing tag.

As soon as the tree sensed them, it began waving it's branches angrily. James managed to sharply pull her to the side just a huge limb crashed down right where she had been standing. Instead of feeling fearful, Lily simply felt alive. She fought the urge to let out a shriek of delight as they jumped over one of the branches that had landed on the ground with a loud bang.

It didn't seem as if they would ever reach the trunk, but James found a way, darting and dodging the branches while holding onto Lily's hand as if they were attached. He pressed the knot, and just like he had said, the tree stopped what it was doing and fell comatose.

With a smile at one another, they crawled through the doorway and collapsed on the wooden floor with exhaustion. The inside of the shack was just as she had pictured it-one roomed and dusty with wooden walls and cobwebs stringing down them as if they were decorations.

James and Lily stayed silent for a minute as they caught their breaths. He still hadn't let go of her hand, but she felt no desire to pull it away.

"That was...exhilarating!" Lily shrieked. "I haven't done anything that fun since I was a little girl."

He turned to her. "Why not?"

Lily shrugged. "I guess I started to get scared of everything. I used to be really brave. I'm just not so much anymore."

"You are, though. You're the most fearless person I know. I've always been so fascinated by you, Lily."

"Me? You sound like Professor Slughorn," she said as her cheeks became hot with embarrassment. The moonlight from the window danced over James' skin, causing him to look flawless, beautiful even. Lily wanted to turn away, but she couldn't. She felt absolutely enchanted; no magic on earth could compare to these feelings that were racing through her heart.

"Well it's true." His voice was sincere, different from the charm he used around everyone else.

"You are the most amazing person I know."

"But why the sudden change? We haven't gotten along at all since our first time on the Hogwarts Express."

James grinned. "I've always liked you, Lily. Wasn't it obvious?"

"Not at all. I thought you hated me," Lily replied, shaking her head.

His face twitched with regret at the sound of her words. "Do you hate me?" he asked softly.

"Well, to be honest, I did. But I like this side of you, James. I feel like you're a completely different person than I thought you were. You..."

And then, as if out of nowhere while being perfectly planned at the same time, James' lips were pressed against hers and she was being passionately pushed against the wooden wall of the shack. And she didn't protest. She ran her fingers through his dark hair, messing it further. The clatter of his glasses on the wooden floor sounded, but neither of them concerned themselves with picking them up. Their breathing became even heavier than when they had been running from the tree. Hearts pounding, bodies aching for one another, they moved their lips together in a fury of passion.

After a minute, he pulled away and sat back. Color rushed to his cheeks as he thought about what he had just done. "I've been wanting to do that for so long."

A million thoughts raced through her mind, and they tugged her emotions in different directions. "I..." she began. But for once, she couldn't find any words to say. James Potter had left her speechless.

"I know you've felt the same way toward me. I see it in your eyes every time I talk to you. Everything about you drives me crazy. In a good way, of course," he added quickly at her sudden offended expression. "I like you, Lily." He paused and then turned to her so that their eyes locked once again. "Actually, this isn't the time for being low-key. I love you, Lily. I've been in love with you for a long time. I didn't believe it myself until a year ago-but it's just one of those things you know, right? Love I mean? I don't know why I feel this way; I just do."

The words, although thoughtful and kind in nature, hung in the air like an offense. A few minutes of awkward silence passed by before Lily figured out that he was waiting for her to speak. She cleared her throat. "James," she started again, but still the right words did not come to mind.

After all, this was the same James Potter who had driven her absolutely crazy with anger, same one who had tormented Severus for years. But she couldn't deny that there had always been something there-it was as if there was some insane passion built up between them, usually expressed in anger and quips but now communicated through romance. Could someone really go from hating someone to loving them? Or were those two emotions, both filled with such intense passion, be one in the same?

"James," she said again. "This is all so much."

He closed his eyes and groaned. "I shouldn't have said anything, I know. Just the beginning of the week we were fighting on the train, and now this. You have to think I'm completely crazy. I just thought if I could get you to spend one hour with me alone, just enough time for me to tell you how I really feel, you might realize that you feel the same way. I'm sorry I said anything."

Lily smiled at him kindly and took his hand into hers. "Don't be sorry. It's just that I feel like have been hit with a dozen different emotions. I never thought I liked you, James. But tonight..."

The question that filled her heart and mind remained unspoken: did she feel something toward James because she like him in return or because of the excitement that he brought with him? It was then that she realized what people meant by their head telling them one thing and their heart telling them something different; it was like a battle was raging inside her, one side reminding her of the person that James was and another burning with intense passion for this new side of him.

"I just have a lot to think about," she finally settled on. "But I would love to go out on another date sometime."

He smiled at this, although his brown eyes were filled with grief. She wondered how long he had imagined this moment and how he had pictured it going in his head. He had to have been prepared for a full out rejection; after all, they had never gotten along. She was glad that she at least saved him that humiliation, even if she never would reciprocate the feelings.

"So what do you see yourself doing after school?" he asked. The changed of subject was so natural and easy, as if they hadn't just had the most intense conversation they would ever have together.

"I have no idea," she replied with a sigh. "My Mum thinks I am going to do something in the Muggle world, but I know that's unlikely. How about you?"

The sparkle of excitement in his eyes seemed to increase as he answered her simple question. "I want to fight Death Eaters," he told her simply.

Lily began to laugh, as if it was a joke, but stopped the second that she realized that he was completely serious. "What are you talking about, Potter? Fight Death Eaters? They're just a stupid little resistance group."

James shook his head. "My dad says the Ministry needs to start watching out for them. Of course, no one there believes him. But he said if no one does anything, there is going to be a time when people are going to have to fight against them to get them under control."

"But think about it," Lily protested. "There are small groups formed all the time. What makes this one a threat?"

James shrugged. " I don't know. I guess my dad knows more than we do. But I trust him; if he says there is something wrong, then there's something wrong."

"Yeah," she replied quietly, not entirely convinced.

James stood up and extended out a strong hand, helping Lily to her feet. She smiled at him warmly. "I still can't believe you beat me on that test."

Mischief filled his face, and he reached to pull up one of his sleeves. "Snape might have not been all wrong," he stated as her eyes locked upon the scribbled writing that was all down his forearm.

"James!" she yelled. She wasn't sure if she was angry or amused, and she could tell by his uncertain expression that he wasn't entirely sure either. "I can't believe you did that! How did you get away with it when Professor Slughorn asked you to show him your arm?"

"Sneaky Spell," James explained. "Sirius knows it. It keeps writing on your arm until you tap it with your index finger. I just touched it really fast when Snape told on me."

"He got detention because of that!" Lily scolded, tying to suppress her smile but knowing she was doing a bad job.

He shook his head vigorously. "He only told on me because he didn't want me to win the bet that I'm sure you told him about. He was so far away that he couldn't have seen me cheating."

Lily gave an overdramatic sigh. "I still don't think it's right."

James raised his shoulders in a quick shrug and leaned toward Lily, his once again glowing beautifully in the light of the moon. "That's how much I like you."

Shivers ran through Lily's body and she looked up into his longing eyes. How it happened, she didn't know; but all of a sudden she was standing on the tops of her toes kissing James Potter as if they hadn't seen each other for months.

And it felt right.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! I just want everyone to know that I have a lot of ideas of where I am taking this story and hopefully you won't be disappointed. I am really trying to follow the storyline and talk about unanswered questions that I always thought about while reading of the lives of Lily and James Potter. Please email me or review with an suggestions/corrections, especially if there is a mistake I made with following the information we already know from the Harry Potter series.**

**Thanks again all you devoted readers! You rock!**

**I do not own any of the characters in this story, except for a few made up names when names were not provided.**

CHAPTER THREE

After many dreams of enchanted trees, invisible cloaks, and a knight in shining armor with messy black hair, Lily woke up the next morning with a smile on her face. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this happy.

James had returned then safely to the Gryffindor common room, and with a quick kiss, they said goodnight and parted to their dormitories. And then began the three hours that had Lily stayed up with thoughts of him swirling through her head. Everything about him that once made her hate him was now absolutely irresistible; his eyes, his smile, his wit, his voice. What began as a date she had intended on laughing with Severus about in class the next day had turned out to be one of the most amazing nights of her life.

After getting ready for the school day, she hurried downstairs to the Great Hall for breakfast. James was sitting with his friends, laughing at some unknown joke. With a pang of fear, Lily thought they were having a laugh about what had happened last night. But then James looked up and saw her, and his smile turned into a grin as he waved her over.

"Hi, Lily," he greeted her.

"Hello," she told the four of them. She down in between him and Remus, who shyly looked down into his oatmeal and said a quick hello. Peter raised one of his chubby hands in the air, covered with food, and then went right back to his full plate. Only Sirius looked at Lily with confidence and asked her how her morning had been so far.

"Very good, thank you, Sirius," Lily replied sweetly, taken aback by their kindness.

"I had a lot of fun last night," James told her.

Lily looked around quickly at the people surrounding them, all involved in their own conversations. "Shh, James, what if someone saw that we weren't in our beds? We don't want to get in trouble."

The four boys chuckled at this. "Calm down, Evans," Sirius said softly. "No one will tell on us. We sneak out all the time and we've never had a problem."

"But how do all four of you fit...?" Lily asked, trailing off to imply the invisibility cloak. After all, the four grown boys sitting near her were much too tall to all fit under the cloak without their feet being shown, even Peter.

James chuckled and discreetly touched her hand with his. "Don't worry about it. Like we said, in four years of school we have never gotten caught."

"Whatever you say," Lily replied with a smile. "I better go grab my books. See all of you in Potions later?"

"Are you going to be sitting with S..." Sirius started, but was rammed hard in the ribs by the elbow of James. He let out a groan of pain and then socked James back at the top of his arm.

With watery eyes, James smiled at her. "See you later, Lily."

Lily ignored what Sirius had been about to say about Severus for the sake of James, who seemed to want to make a real change about how he treated her best friend. She knew that James' cruelty toward Severus would be a deal-breaker for her, and she prayed it would never come down to that; even though she knew who she would chose, the decision would be a hard one to carry through. She like James-a lot. But she loved Severus.

It wasn't that Severus was completely innocent in their long-going feud; he had instigated almost as many fights as James had. But it was the fact that Severus was the underdog that made her heart ache for him. While James had his charm, his looks, his wit, his talent, and his popularity to back him up, Severus only had things that no one else could see as exceptional except for her-his brilliance, his determination, his confidence that was hidden under layers of hurt, his unmatched bravery.

People often wondered why she was friends with such an opposite of herself, the outcast of the school. But there was no way to describe to them what she had known since the moment she had met him-there was something special about Severus Snape. One day, he was going to take the world by storm, and she was determined to be the one to coax it out. After all, somebody had to.

Lily turned around and headed back to the dormitories to get her things for class. As she neared the staircase, she felt a cold hand grip her lower arm. She jumped in surprise and spun around to see Severus. He looked exhausted-his eyes were bloodshot, his hair was a mess, and he seemed to have no life in his pale face.

"Sev! You scared me!" Lily laughed with a hand to her racing heart. "How was detention?"

He groaned. "Awful. Slughorn made me polish his display case of photographs of famous wizards and witches he's met. And he enlightened me on each and every one."

"Well, I'm sorry it was bad, but you really shouldn't have told on James like that..."

His worn out face suddenly became alit with rage. Sometimes, she wished that she could bottle up this emotion and get him to unleash it in times other than when they were talking about James Potter-if he could become half as passionate about other things, he could already be as successful as those witches and wizards in Slughorn's display case, she was sure of it.

"James?" he snapped. "Since when do you call him that?"

"I did go on a date with him last night and that is his name," she replied shortly. Although she had known it was coming, she certainly wasn't in the mood for all of his protective jealousy this morning.

"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot about your date. So what did you two do at eleven o'clock in the evening?" His tone was no nicer, and Lily almost felt like slapping him. It was one thing to despise James for all he had done to him, but he had no right to take out his frustration on her. She had never done that to him, so she expected the same in return.

A moment's hesitation flickered over her face before she answered, and she was certain that Severus noticed it. Although she trusted him more than anyone else, she was not going to disclose any details of their date. There was too much emotion involved in the situation-the test incident had proved that-and Lily did not want James' beloved cloak to be confiscated from him.

"We just stayed in the common room," she finally settled on, for the first time grateful that Severus was a Slytherin, unable to know if what she said was the truth. "It was alright, nothing special."

And then, a smile of relief washed over his entire face. He laughed. "Potter couldn't even find something fun for you to do with him? Sitting by the fire was his great idea? I was certain that he would at least sneak you out of the dormitories to raid the kitchen."

"Severus, would I ever agree to leave the dormitories after hours?" she asked him, staring into his eyes with unwavering intensity. "You know me better than that."

He nodded and his eyes softened apologetically. "Yes, I know you wouldn't. I have to go; I'll see you in Potions, Lil."

As she watched him scamper down the hallway, Lily leaned against the banister and sighed with relief. She knew that no matter what happened with her and James, she could never, ever tell Severus. It would be too much for him to handle. And with the OWL's quickly approaching, she didn't want anything to distract him from achieving his best.

Class went by incredibly slow the entire day, which was alright with Lily because she was absolutely dreading Potions. The thought of Severus, James, and her in the same room for an hour made her heart race with anxiety. But as it turned out, she had nothing to worry about; James and one other boy from the Gryffindor Quidditch team didn't have to go to their last class in order to get ready for their match against Slytherin.

Late afternoon, Lily went down to the Quidditch field with a group of giggling Gryffindor girls who couldn't wait to get a glimpse of the many heart-throbbing boys who played on the team, James included. She even felt a pang of foreign jealousy when she heard one fourth year girl, Sarah Bordine, gossiping about how she was planning on asking James to go with her to Hogsmead on their next scheduled trip. Lily opened her mouth to say something about hearing that James had a girlfriend, but then decided against it, for fear of a dozen clamoring questions from heartbroken girls.

In the stands, the fans were going wild as they waved the flags of their teams, the maze of burgundy and gold clashing with the opposing white and green. The first game of the season was always the most exciting, and Lily enjoyed getting away from the classroom to watch the sport. And she could never help but be intrigued by the way James whisked through the air-he was a natural, it was clear. He had skills on a broom that she could never even dream of having.

"Go, Potter! Go Jennings!" cheered the Gryffindors loudly. "Beat those Bludgers, Bexley!"

Lily stood on the tops of her toes to see over the sixth years in front of her as she tried to find Severus in the Slytherin stands. She saw him standing with two boys she didn't know in the second row. All three of their faces were scrunched up with anger as they engaged in an intense discussion. After about a minute, Severus snapped one last comment and they all fell silent, turning back toward the game. Lily began to wonder who these new friends of Severus' were and what they were talking so intensely, but her thoughts were interrupted by the start of the game and the erupting cheer as the game balls were released.

"Aren't you excited, Lily?" shrieked her friend Mary Cronsworth, a pretty sixth year. Her brown curly hair bounced up and down as she jumped on the stands in exhilaration.

Lily forced a smile and nodded. She watched as James, flying high on his brand new broom bought by his father, grasped the Quaffle in his hand and flew toward the goal. A large Slytherin sixth year came hurtling at him in attempt to knock him off his broom, but James was quick-he swerved and dodged did a small spin in the air, effortlessly throwing the ball into the goal. An eruption of screaming came, causing Lily's ears to ring, and the score board added ten points for Gryffindor.

The two rival teams seemed to go back and forth with gaining goals throughout the game, and neither team had a real advantage. The crowd around her alternated frequently from excited cheers to groans of booing, but all were intensely watching the game, loving every minute of the dramatic plays. James was playing better than she had ever seen him before-he almost seemed a little too confident for her, and she watched with worry as he charged head first into a trio of Slytherin players, confusing them with his quick moves as he neared the goal. And then, Lily's fear came true-one the Slytherin Beaters, a mean, squinty-eyed kid by the name of Derrick Jones, smacked the Bludger toward James, who didn't see it due to his concentration of getting toward the goal with boasting agility. It hit him on the head and he went tumbling toward the ground, apparently blacked out.

"James!" Lily screamed. Fear seemed to suspend time as she watched him hit the earth. With a racing heart, she pushed people out of the way and raced toward the field where he was laying unconscious. A bruise was already starting to form on his head, and his face was covered with dirt, sweat, and blood. She held back the urge to be sick when she saw his arm bent the wrong way, definitely broken. His glasses were laying cracked on the ground next to him, but his broom was intact. She gently touched her hand to his cheek.

Professional McGonagal came running forward and knelt down beside James with fear in her eyes.

"Professor, is he alright?" Lily asked with tears in her eyes. People got extremely hurt in this game, she knew. She just prayed that James would be alright.

"He's breathing," she told her. "We need to get him to Madam Pomfrey immediately."

Shaking, Lily nodded and stood back as McGonagal carefully levitated James and placed him on a suspended gurney which she had summoned from a small shack near the stands. The crowed was murmuring with concern as they watched James be taken out of the stadium. The rest of the players had mounted on the field and James' teammates looked terrified. Lily followed McGonagal into the castle and didn't get to hear how they postponed the remainder of the game.

When they arrived at the Hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey gasped. "What happened, Minerva?" she asked, diligently lowering the gurney into one of the hospital beds.

"Bludger hit him. Fool was spinning around doing his usual antics, not paying attention to what was happening around him." McGonagal sounded angry, yet full of concern for the well-being of the boy. Lily knew that despite his misbehavior, James had managed to claw his way into a special place in her heart. She noticed thick tears were beginning to form in her eyes.

"And why are you here, Ms. Evans?" McGonagal asked, as if she just realized who she was.

"I was just concerned, Professor. Can't I stay here until he wakes up? Please?" she begged, giving McGonagal pleading eyes that she hoped she would be unable to resist. After all, Lily was a Prefect, top of her class, and one of McGonagal's best students in Transfiguration class-that had to be worth something.

McGonagal gave a strict nodded and turned back to Madam Pomfrey. "Poppy, please allow Ms. Evans to stay here until Potter awakens or when the hour is up, whichever comes first," she said firmly. "But after that, I want you to return to your dormitory." With that, she bid them farewell and told Madam Pomfrey to summon her if there were any changes for the worse in James' condition.

Lily took a seat out of the way of Madam Pomfrey, who was busying herself with mending the bones in James' arm. Somehow, he looked so peaceful lying there, with his broken bones and bruised head. What was it about him that enticed her so much all of a sudden? She would have never in a million years broken out of the crowd to kneel by him when he was hurt-after all, it did nothing to help him. But at that moment, she couldn't imagine doing anything else.

But she couldn't love him-she liked him, of course. But love? Love was such a strong word, something he had said to her but she was not certain that she truly believed. Love was for silly little girls with nothing better to do than to draw hearts in the notebooks with their initial next to the boy that they like. Love was the most real thing a person could feel. And she had never felt more alive in the past day-the first time, when she was running with James under the tree and the second, when she was charging toward him on the field. Those emotions she was feeling were as real as it could get. Those emotions were so strong, she had felt that she could explode because of them.

Her heart skipped a beat when his brown eyes slowly began to open. He looked different without his glasses, and he squinted to see who was standing by his bed. "Lily?" His voice cracked as he said her name.

She rushed forward and knelt on the ground beside him. "You're alright!" she said with a sigh of relief.

"Out of the way, out of the way," Madam Pomfrey shouted with a wave of her hand as she scurried across the room. Lily stood up and hurried to the side, watching as James rolled his eyes. "Here, Potter, take a sip of this. It'll help the pain."

"Thanks, Madam Pomfrey, but I'm really fine...oh, alright, I'll drink it," he finally said, for she had given him a death glare that was scarier than any Bludger.

"What happened?" he asked Lily when Madam Pomfrey went to the other side of the Hospital wing to prepare more medicine.

"That big bloke Jones beat a Bludger toward you. He really should be disqualified-it was obvious he hit you in the head on purpose."

James chuckled and then winced in pain. "Always had it out for me, that one did. So I fell off my broom? Is it alright?"

Lily gave him a reproachful smile. "I don't think you should be concerned with your broom more than your body, but yes, it's alright."

His eyes grew soft, almost vulnerable, as he gazed at her. "Thanks for sitting with me."

She smiled at him and felt heat fill her cheeks. "Not a problem. When I saw you fall...well, you scared me. A lot."

"Well, well, well," James said with a grin. "It seems that Lily Evans has fallen in love with me too."

There was that word again, the word that made Lily's heart race. She didn't want to embrace it; she was too level-headed to embrace that word. But she hadn't always been, she remembered. Those days at the park with Petunia-those were the days that she would have handed pieces of her heart out to anyone who asked. But then fear had seized her. It was fear that made her hold back everything, to focus on school, on her family, on her friends, on Severus-and nothing else. She hadn't thought there could be anything else for her at this time, but how wrong she was. Everything she needed, everything she wanted-her past, her present, her future was all shining in the face of this young, crazy, adventurous boy with the messy black hair and a charming smile.

"I would care about your well-being even if I still hated you. How do you know that I love you?" she asked quickly.

He thought about this for a moment and then another smile washed over his face. "Because you're still here. You must have begged Pomfery or McGonagal, didn't you? You could have just checked to see how I was doing later, as they would have expected you do, but you begged them to stay. Just admit it-you love me, Lily."

Lily pursed her lips with a shake of her head. "I guess you'll have to wait to find out." And then, she leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his. When she pulled away, their eyes locked, and they stayed like that for a moment until Pomfery's hurried footsteps echoed from across the room.

"Alright, you two, save it for when he's better," she told them. "Now, Mr. Potter, drink this, and Ms. Evans, we will see you tomorrow during visiting..."

"Blimey, mate!" a voice from across the room interrupted. Lily looked up and saw James' friends hurrying over to him, looking sick with worry. Sirius, the one who had spoken, was in the lead, practically running over to James' bed. "Scared us half to death, that's what you did!" he told him.

"Oh no, no, no!" Madam Pomfery scolded. "These aren't visiting hours! I have a patient to treat-all four of you can come back tomorrow..."

"Come on, Madam Pomfery," Sirus coaxed her with a smile. "This is our best mate, here. Can't we talk to him for a few minutes? Then we'll leave, promise."

With an annoyed sigh, Pomfery nodded. "Three minutes, then all of you out of my Hospital wing." With that, she stomped off toward her office to leave them alone.

"How are you doing?" Peter asked. Out of all of them, he looked the most pale, his large eyes wider than she had ever seen them before.

"Alright, except for this damn headache," James replied softly.

Sirius frowned. "We're going to kill that Jones for hitting you like that. Wasn't right, I'll tell you! Well, he better find a spell that makes eyes in the back of his bloody head; he has no idea what's coming to him."

"Sirius," Lily told him firmly. "You don't want to get in trouble. And besides, that's exactly what Slytherin will be expecting you to do. They'll outnumber you for sure if you try to get in a fight with them."

"She's right," Remus told him. "We just need to find a way to get him back without anything finding out it was us. I have a few ideas..."

"I'm not hearing this..." Lily told them as she placed her hands over her head. "I'm a Prefect! Hell, you're a Prefect, Remus! Just don't get caught, alright?

"You just don't understand, Evans," Sirius told her. "We would do anything for each other-we're pretty much all we have. When someone picks a fight with one of us, they have to deal with all of us."

Peter and Remus nodded in agreement; they reminded Lily of a club of small boys looking to do things to make them seem older. They had a lot of growing up to do, but she had to admire their devotion for one another. She was certain this was not simply a schoolboy friendship-they would remain friends for as long as they lived.

Madam Pomfery appeared once more and shooed the kids away from James' bed, telling them the times for visiting hours tomorrow. With one last smile at James, Lily left the Hospital wing with his three best friends, wondering where her place in his life really would be.

James' recovered quickly and after three days, he was back in class. The talk around the hallways did not just include James' accident-Lily also heard bits and pieces of questions regarding her and James' relationship. And she absolutely hated it; why people had to concern themselves with the business of people they were not directly involved with, she would never understand. So far, she had heard that they had already been dating since last year and hadn't told anyone yet, that they were planning on getting married, and that she had already cheated on him with Sirius. It was because of rumors such as these that Lily did not want to make anything official-she needed time to think things through, and rushing into something would only make it worse.

Severus had refused to speak to Lily ever since the Quidditch game almost a week ago. She knew that he was upset for lying to him about her relationship with James, and beyond all of the rumors, she knew Severus realized the truth. After all, what else was he supposed to think when the only person to run out on the field was her? Her heart ached every time she thought of her friend, and she wondered what he was doing during the times that they would normally spend together. She prayed that he was not hanging out with those two boys from the game that he had been talking to-they gave her the creeps and made her think that they would pull Severus into something that wasn't good for him. Every day she thought of ways that would make him forgive her, but so far, none at worked-he continued to be as cold as ever every time they passed in the hallway.

"James!" Lily giggled as he started tickling her stomach on the dusty floor of the Shack.

"I have to see if you are telling the truth about being ticklish," he defended himself with a chuckle.

She pulled away from him to get out of his grasp, but ended up falling back into his gentle arms with a kiss of truce. The sound of his heartbeat and deep, even breathing was the music that filled her ears as she lay down on his chest.

"Lily?" he asked.

She looked up at him and smiled. He looked like an angel with the soft moon dancing over his skin, gleaming off his glasses. They had spent every single night together like this for the past week, sneaking back only right before the sun rose and going to class on a few hours of sleep. They talked for hours. Lily felt that there was hardly an aspect of her life that she had not shared with James. And instead of feeling the bad effects of being so vulnerable, all she felt was peace and love. She didn't even think she could have this type of relationship with her sister-so open, so honest. And here she was, telling her deepest secrets to the one person she never thought she would. Life was funny sometimes, she supposed. It certainly kept you on the tips of your toes.

"Yes?" she replied.

"Why don't we make it official? You and I, I mean? Everybody is talking about us. So I would really like to be able to tell them the truth about you when they ask. What do you think?" He had been speaking quickly, so he caught his breath.

"Listen," Lily started. She couldn't even turn to look at him-she didn't want to see his face wash over with disappointment or even anger. It would be too much to handle. "It's complicated, James."

He let out a forced laugh and quickly sat up, causing her to fall forward a little bit. "Is this about Snivulous?"

And then, as if it had never been hole at all, everything she had thought was perfect crashed down around her. Whirling around, Lily glared at him with blazing green eyes. "You promised you would stop."

"Hell, Lily, I've been nice to him for over a week now!"

"Not nice," she corrected sharply. "Civil. Like you should have been all along."

"I still don't understand why you're friends with him." His voice was more angry than she had ever heard it before, and his expression complimented it well. But she was just as angry; and she was not going to submit to his childish ways. If he really loved her, he would not hurt her by being cruel to Severus-it was as simple as that.

"Oh really?" she snapped. She jumped to her feet, and he did the same. "Well I don't understand why you hang out with Peter Pettigrew. You let him follow you around and practically worship you. And you love every second of it. You, Remus, and Sirius take advantage of him! So how is that different?"

"It's very different! Peter's my friend, and he's a good friend. Snape is a no good, lying, deceiving, rat. And everyone seems to see it but you!"

Lily let out a frustrated groan as she threw he hands in the air. "I don't know why I even started to like you! You are the same awful person I always knew you were!"

James ignored this and looked into Lily's eyes pleadingly. "Please listen to me. He says he's your friend, Lily. But just wait for the day that he sells you out! He's not who you think he is!"

"Take me back. Now!" Lily yelled, tying to suppress the tears that were quickly building up.

"Fine!" James snapped angrily. "But don't say that I didn't warn you about him, Lily."

She glared at him and scoffed. "I think I can take care of myself."

In a fit of rage, he threw the cloak over them and they hurried out the door in the cool night air. Lily was thankful that they couldn't talk-she was too angry to even sort through this right now, not that she had any desire to. As far as she was concerned, her and James were completely over. She had known all along that it was only a matter of time before James began acting the same way as he did before, everything that had driven her absolutely insane with rage. He was a cruel, selfish, heartless person, and sometimes she felt that she and Severus were the only ones who saw it. This was over and she was going to win Severus' friendship back, and everything was going to go back to exactly the way it had before.

They reached the castle in record time and had to actually stop themselves from stomping with angry on the cold dirt floor, for fear that it would make noise. She wished they could go faster-she hated the feeling of James' warm body right next to hers, smelling the scent of his cologne that she had once loved so much but now made her sick to her stomach. Finally, after what seemed like five extremely long minutes, they reached the end. James pushed the portrait open, just like he had done many times before.

But this time, they heard a voice that made their hearts drop into their stomachs.

"We know it's you, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans," said the sharp, angry tone of Professor McGonagal.

James cursed under his breath and then threw the Invisibility Cloak to the ground, managing to stuff it in a dark corner before McGonagal's long fingers appeared at the edge of the portrait. She pulled it open to reveal a cloakless Lily and James.

Standing inside the hallway next to McGonagal was the Headmaster of the school, Professor Dumbledore, his usually kind eyed filled with disappointment. At the sight of them together, Lily felt like she was going to be sick. This was it, everything she had worked for was all down the drain. Not only would she be revoked of being a Prefect, she would most likely be expelled. She knew her parents could not afford to send her to another school overseas, so she would probably have to give up being a witch forever, since she would not have completed her magically training. And then to her sister's delight, she would be a Muggle once more. And what was the sacrifice? One week with the boy she hated most in the world.

"I cannot believe you two have been sneaking out under my nose!" Professor McGonagal whispered sharply. "I'd expect this from you, Mr. Potter, but you, Ms. Evans?"

This can't be happening, Lily thought as her heart pounded and her instinct told her to run as far as she could away from the trouble she was about to be in. She wanted to die from shame right there on the spot.

"Thank you, Minerva," Dumbledore told her kindly. "I can take it from here. Please follow me, you two."

In the corner of her eye, Lily saw James turn to her, but she refused to even glance at his face. Nothing would please her more in the world than to never see his face again, which she was certain Dumbledore was going to make a reality in a few minutes when he kicked them both out of the school.

"Peppermint," Dumbledore whispered when they reached his office, and the creepy stone statues allowed him and the two kids through. Once he reached his desk, he sat down and folded his hands together. Lily had never been in his office before, and she had often hoped that the first would be due to her getting some sort of honor that he would be immensely proud of her before. It was cluttered with things, but had a certain charm to it. She imagined Dumbledore sitting her down and telling her that he was so impressed with her achievements that he wanted to stay in constant contact with her in order to hear her latest ideas about certain issues. But now, that fantasy was completely over. And the dream that she had once had about being summoned for a personal meeting with Dumbledore had now turned into a nightmare.

"Have a seat," he told them softly. Lily appreciated his tone of voice-she didn't think she would be able to handle someone yelling at her for what she had done.

As soon as she sat down, tears began pouring down Lily's face. "Professor Dumbledore, I am s...s...sorry. I don't know what made me want to sneak out. There are rules at this school for a reason and I had no right to b...b...break them."

Dumbledore nodded at this and turned to James. "And you, Mr. Potter?"

He gave a sheepish grin and cleared his throat. "I'm really sorry for what I did, Professor. But please don't blame Lily; I was the one who wanted to sneak out."

"Thank you," Dumbledore replied. "But I think Ms. Evans is equally as responsible, although I am certain the original idea was indeed your own. You must remember, Mr. Potter, that there are times privileges allow for certain things, and times when they do not. While at one time I had trusted you completely, I am afraid tonight you showed utter lack of judgment."

"Professor," Lily stammered. "Please don't expel us. We promise it won't happen again. I just don't want to leave Hogwarts."

She was sobbing so hard now, she was sure he could barely understand her words. He smiled at her sympathetically. Through her tear-filled eyes, she could see the candlelight that filled his office gleam off his spectacles, and Lily noticed the reflection of a beautiful caged phoenix, which she hadn't seen before. "I would never dream of expelling the two most promising students in the fifth year for a little bit of mischief. After all, it is from mischief that the wildest of dreams are fulfilled."

Lily, comprehending his kind words a few moments after he spoke them, let out a sigh of relief and leaned back in her chair. "Thank you, Professor. Thank you so much."

"However," he continued strictly. The sound seemed foreign to his grandfatherly voice, and she was certain that he didn't speak this way often. "You two will be serving some time in detention."

"Professor, can we please not serve our detention together? I would really appreciate being separated," Lily asked boldly. She didn't care how she came off-she would rather leave the school then spend time with James in detention, that she knew for certain.

James shot her a glare, but once again she refused to turn to him. She hated him more than she ever had before.

Dumbledore's eyes grew soft once more. "I would hate for this to tear apart your relationship with Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans. I had no idea before tonight that you were even friends. All of your teachers have reported that the two of you cannot seem to get along."

"Momentary lapse of judgment, Professor," Lily explained. "I believe James and I are better off not being friends."

"Very well," Dumbledore replied with a nod. "Now, you two best be getting off to bed. Dream sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Professor," they both mumbled and scurried out of his office as quickly as they could.

As soon as they entered the hallway, Lily began speeding toward the Gryffindor common room without James. Her heart was pounding, her hands were shaking-and if she even glanced at the pitiful expression on his face, she was certain she would attack him right here in the middle of the hallway in the dead of night.

And then she heard his voice, sweet with sadness, echoing down the empty hallways.

"Lily, I'm sorry."

"Too late," she answered back, leaving James behind, vowing to never venture into his life again. It caused too much anger, too much hurt. And Lily had enough of that for a lifetime.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks again for reading! I hope this chapter is put together well-it uses scenes from the book, which were sort of hard to fit in at places because of the direction I chose to take Lily and James' characters. Enjoy :)**

****I do not own any of the characters****

CHAPTER FOUR

The following months were difficult for Lily. She was so preoccupied that for the first time in her life, she received a poor grade on one of her Defense Against the Dark Arts exams. Professor Horter was so surprised by her score that he pulled her aside after class to ask if everything was alright. She played it off as being nervous for the OWL's, but she knew that Professor Horter was suspicious—he had to have heard what happened when Lily got detention, and it now appeared that the star student was having a nervous breakdown.

Even her relationship with Petunia had now reached an all time low. During the school holiday, Petunia had the new man she was seeing, Vernon, stay at their home during the week of Christmas. He had eyed Lily like she was the scum of the earth, and she realized that Petunia must have told him awful things about her. She was confident that her sister had left out the part about the magic; after all, who could believe that? But she could only imagine the elaborate story that Petunia had concocted about her insane younger sister who had a habit of drinking too much and getting thrown into jail.

Back at school once again, it was one of the first days of the warm weather. She and Severus were walking back and forth across the courtyard, enjoying the pleasant afternoon, which was one of the last left before the OWL's. The tests made it easy to tell which year the students walking around outside were in—the fifth years were strewn around the grass studying vigorously from various books. The fourth years were eyeing the fifth years with apprehension and dread as they witnessed what they would be in for the following year. And the sixth years, who were also glancing over at the fifth years, simply looked relieved that the experience was over with.

After a few minutes of silence, Severus took a deep breath and turned to Lily. "The rumors about you and Potter are still going around. I thought they would die out by now. Why haven't they?" he asked her quietly.

Lily knew before Severus even opened his mouth that he was working up the courage to ask her a question. Her stomach lurched in nervousness, but she managed to muster up a warm smile. "You know this school—always have to know the latest gossip. There is nothing going on between Potter and I."

Turning to her, she saw how pain-filled his eyes were and guilt spread through her. "It's hard not to believe some of them, especially since what happened at the first Quidditch match of the season."

"He was hurt!" Lily retorted sharply. "I would do the same for anyone else! Besides, at least I spent my time at the game helping someone instead of talking to those creeps Avery and Mulciber!"

After much asking around, she had finally figured out who the boys were that Severus was speaking with at the game—and everyone stated unanimously that they were horrible, terrifying people. In fact, two days ago, Mulciber used Dark Magic against Mary Macdonald, a sixth year Slytherin, on their way to Hogsmead because she accurately described him a stupid lug who couldn't even tie his own shoelaces. In a fit of rage, he immediately cast a dark spell that temporarily sewed your eyes and lips together, but he missed and hit a passing squirrel instead. Mary then used a locomotor mortis spell at him, and to the amusement of a crowd of their fellow Slytherins that had surrounded, he fell down as stiff as a board, although not much smarter.

Severus let out a squeak of shock. "Why do you care who I speak to while I'm not with you? I never say anything about the obnoxious people you choose to spend your time with. I thought we were supposed to be friends. Best friends?"

"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging 'round with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber. Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! Do you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?" Lily leaned against a pillar and stared at him, waiting for an appropriate answer.

"That was nothing," Severus said quickly. "It was a laugh, that's all..."

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny..."

"What about the stuff that Potter and his mates get up to?" Severus snapped indicatively. His eyes were wild and angry looking.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" Lily asked in frustration. She didn't want to talk about James anymore; she would rather forget that he even existed. But being friends with Severus apparently made this near-impossible.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

Lily gulped. She'd had her suspicions about Remus ever since James and her went to the Shrieking Shack; Remus' sickly demeanor, the planting of the Whomping Willow this year, the fact that James knew had to get past it. But it was nothing that she felt comfortable discussing. After all being a...she stifled a shudder and pushed the word out of her mind, not even wanting to think about it. The thought was too awful for something a fifteen year old should have to experience for the rest of his life. It was better to just pretend that it didn't exist, just as she pretended concerning everything else in her life. It was better not knowing. And if you did know, it was at least better not to say it aloud.

"He's ill," Lily decided on. "They say he's ill."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "Every month at the full moon?"

"I know your theory," she snapped. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing a night?"

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are," he told her firmly.

Oh, she knew better than anyone else. But she knew where his concern came from—it was the same concern that he showed on the train when he asked if she would ever go out with James. This school year must have been awful for Severus as he listened to all of the rumors circulating, wondering which were true and which weren't, praying that they all fell under the latter.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though," she spoke softly. "And you're being ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from what's down there. . ."

The story of James' heroic rescue of his hated enemy was yet another story that was all over the school, and she only planned on bringing it up if Severus began talking about James again. She watched as embarrassment filled his scrunched up face. "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to...I won't let you..."

"_Let _me? _Let_ me?" Lily shouted angrily at Severus, whose eyes were now as wide as his face was pallid.

"I didn't mean..." Severus sputtered. "I just don't want to see you made a fool of... He fancies you, James Potter fancies you! And he's not...everyone thinks...big Quidditch hero..."

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she interrupted. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

She frowned as she realized that Severus had not listened to her at all concerning Mulciber and Avery—it seemed that she had finally gotten him to believe her about her ill-feelings toward James. His walk was bouncy and light now, and he had sunk back into his overly-relaxed posture.

"Do you want to go to the library to study?" she asked him gently.

He gave her a weak smile and nodded. "Whatever you want, Lil."

The first tests of the week, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions, were hard, but Lily was confident that she had done well on them. Plus, she had managed to salvage sleep, unlike the many students who had dark circles under their eyes from staying up all night studying. The fifth years looked like walking zombies with their sickly faces buried in their school books, begging them for pieces of information that they had yet to retain.

"Lily," called her friend Kathryn Mater as they left the classroom of their Potion's OWL. She was surrounded by other usually giggly, all of whom looked worn out from mental exhaustion, their eyes glasses from reading the small print of the test. "Do you want to come with us to the lake?"

"Sure," Lily replied with a smile. "I need to clear my head—I have Potions questions spinning through my mind."

The girls headed in light chatter to the lake and took their shoes and socks off to wade in the cool water. Other people in their year seemed to have found blissful recovery in the area as well.

"Look who it is," said the girl next to her, Lucy Drennings. She smoothed out her long blonde hair and turned her gaze to a group of boys by the tree. "He's absolutely adorable with that Snitch in his hand. I've always said that he should play Seeker."

James Potter was with his friends, tossing a golden Snitch in the air and catching it. He touched a hand to his black hair and ruffled it, glancing over at the pretty girls while he did so.

Lily scowled and turned away. "He's horrible."

An unpleasant smirk spread over Lucy's face. "Really now? Because I've heard many rumors that the two of you are dating."

The other girls, who had been immersed in a conversation of their own, now turned to Lily and Lucy with fascination in their sparkling eyes. "Yes," Jerica Jennings said in her annoying, high-pitched voice. "Tell us, Lily. Were all the things that were said true? We've been dying to know."

But before she could come up with a witty comeback to silence them once and for all, the loud scream of a spell hit her ears, and her green eyes locked on Severus. He looked like a helpless animal trapped in the corner by a mean group of little boys. James and his friends backed him into the tree, taunting him.

The people around her whirled around and became the audience for the scene. Lily's heart began pounding furiously with anger as she marched over to the gang and Severus, who now had pink bubble foaming out of his mouth. Horror filled her as she saw him choking on the spell.

"Leave him alone!" she screamed furiously, darting toward them.

Like the conceited prat he was, James instinctively raised his hand once more to mess up his hair.

"All right, Evans?" he asked in a kind tone, as if he actually believed that to be true.

"Leave him alone," Lily snarled. "What has he done to you?"

James grinned, and she felt the strong urge to run forward and punch him in the nose. "Well, it's more the fact that he _exists, _if you know what I mean..."

The shallow people that she called friends laughed at what James' had said. Her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest; no one person could handle this much anger, she was sure of it. She would collapse in a few moments, dead on the spot, her heart having exploded from pure rage.

"You think you're funny," Lily told him, spitting with pure contempt. She hated him more than ever before—he was like a horrible dragon that had managed to convince her that he was as gentle as a doe, now back to burning down the village. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone."_

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James told her. "Go on. Go out with me and I will never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." She saw a flash of mocking in his eyes.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," she spat. The crowd gasped and turned to one another in a pathetic, gossipy fashion.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius told his friends as he turned back to Severus. "Oy!" he then shouted, for Severus, who was now clean of bubbles, had grabbed his wand from the ground and pointed it at James. Lily's stomach churned as a large wound appeared on James' cheek. Blood splattered onto his black robes.

Quickly, a another spell was fired, this time from James, and Severus was hanging upside down. His robes fell down, revealing his legs and underpants. The crowd began to cheer, and the boys, with the exception of Remus, began roaring with laughter.

Lily couldn't believe what had just happened; Severus had performed Dark Magic on James. The gloom of darkness filled her heart as she realized everything she had thought Severus was had been a lie. How foolish to believe that he was different than the others of his type. The cut on James' cheek, a kiss from the Dark Arts, was everything Severus would ever be.

But there he was hanging helpless, alone, and her heart ached for him once more. She couldn't leave him at the mercy of James Potter and the crowd that surrounded him—it wouldn't be right.

"Let him down!" she shouted. Her sharp voice echoed through the air and across the grounds.

"Certainly," James told her, and with a flick of his wand, Severus was in a ball on the dirt ground. He staggered to his feet and raised his wand once more, but Sirius was too quick for him.

"Locomotor mortis!" he shouted, and Severus fell over once more.

"Leave him alone!" Lily screamed and thrust her own wand out, her mind racing with curses that she could use against them.

James grinned, amused. "Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you."

"Take the curse off him then!" she snapped.

With a sigh, James muttered a spell under his breath, and Snape stood to his feet like a fawn learning how to walk.

"There you go," James said coldly. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus..."

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Severus snarled.

The words felt like a slap to her face, a punch to her gut. They hung in the cool air, filling the area with complete silence except for the echoing of Severus' voice through her mind. This was what she got for helping the unappreciated. This was what she got for believing in someone against all odds—thrown aside like she had never really mattered. It was Petunia all over again; no matter how kind Lily was, she was always treated the same way by the people who loved her. Well, she was done with love. What good was it in this world? It was just as bad as Dark Magic—but with love, you were slashed on the inside instead of the outside, as James had been. Outer injuries healed and scarred over, leaving only traces of what had been. It was the inner ones that would forever remain.

"Fine, I won't bother you in the future," she told him, trying to hide the shakiness in her voice. "And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_." Pure malice was in her voice, making it sound unrecognizable to her own ears.

Severus' eyes instantly filled with regret as he processed what he had done, what was now lost forever. She averted her gaze, no longer willing to be sucked back into a life of giving and only receiving hurt back.

"Apologize to Evans!" James shouted at Severus with the threat of his wand to back him up.

Lily scoffed. "I don't want _you_ to make him apologize. You're as bad as he is!"

"What?" James squeaked. "I'd never call you a...you-know-what!"

She gave a shrill laugh. "Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you canI'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me sick."

With that, she turned on her heels, and walked away from James a second time, knowing it would be the last. After all, she had nothing else to defend from him—not Severus, not her heart. She was alone now, and that was the way she liked it. When you were alone, nothing could hurt you. Nothing could cause your heart to feel like it was shredded to pieces. No, it was better, being alone. There was no pain. In fact, there was no feeling at all.

She heard James shouting her name behind her, but she didn't care. Let him shout, she thought. Let him feel at least some pang of regret for what he had done to her. Let them all feel what they had done to her—Petunia, James, Severus. She was sick for forgiving, tired of defending.

Lily walked down the hill, about a mile to a small field where she sometimes snuck off to with Severus. The flowers, once kept alive by the groundskeeper, were dead and forgotten. The grass was browned with age. It must have once been a spot where students would go to, but it had long since been abandoned.

And she sobbed her loneliness into the desolate ground below her.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Whispers filled the school, but unlike usual, they were not about the latest school scandal. Now they concerned something of great importance. Everyone was speak of the man who had formed a small army of followers, whom he called Death Easters, who told people of the beauty of one great race of Pureblood wizards. Like Lily had done at the beginning of the year, some people brushed it off as a silly group trying to scare people. But others were growing concerned with how powerful they were becoming. There were rumors that they were responsible for the tragic deaths of half a dozen Muggles at a train station in London when a pillar fell and crushed them all, but the Ministry apparently could not prove it. There was also talk of students wanting to join the group after leaving Hogwarts—all of them were Slytherins, who openly proclaimed the same message of a Pureblood society to their classmates. Huge fights began breaking out in between classes, one of which involved a Muggle-born by the name of Jacob Dawson against Avery and Mulciber, the boys that Severus had now been spending all of his free time with. All three boys ended up in the Hospital Wing for various injuries and were given a two weeks detention.

But it was the whispers around the school that made Lily wonder why they were not outright shouts of protest. The man spoke of intolerance in the Wizarding world, and yet no one seemed to be doing anything to stop him and his followers. It was as if everyone was letting this run its course, too afraid, or indolent, or unconcerned to do anything about it. And that scared Lily more than anything.

After a gruelingly long session of Potions, Lily waited around after class for Professor Slughorn to be free of students asking him questions about their latest assignment. When he was finished speaking with the last one, she walked up to him with a friendly smile.

"Ah, Lily Evans," Slughorn greeted eagerly. "To what do I own this pleasure?"

"I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about something," she told him, and when he nodded kindly, she continued. "There has been a lot of talk around the school about the man who has formed the Death Eaters. I had heard about them last summer, but now everyone is saying how dangerous they are becoming. I guess I was just wondering if you could shed some light on the subject."

As soon as she had begun speaking, Slughorn's twinkling eyes became cold and narrowed. His breathing quickened, and Lily realized that the topic had made him nervous. "If you don't want to talk about it, I und..." she quickly started to tell him.

"Nonsense," Slughorn croaked with a wave of his hand. "If you have questions, I would like to be the one to answer them. However, I really do not believe that there is anything to worry about when it comes to things such as this. Groups wanting change come and go, but the Ministry always has a handle on it." Although his words conveyed peace, there was something in his voice that told Lily he himself hardly believed what he was saying.

"But with the way everyone has been talking, it sounds as if this is going to be long-term. It's as if he is trying to taking over the entire Wizarding world with his ideas. Some students are even talking about joining up after they finish with school. It just appears to me that this is a bigger problem than the Ministry is making it out to be."

Slughorn frowned and shook his head disapprovingly. "Although you are a bright girl, Lily, I suggest that you don't concern yourself with matters such as this. If the Wizarding world is in danger, the Ministry of Magic will take care of it. Understand?"

"Y...yes, Professor," Lily stammered. He had never been so closed about anything she had asked him about before. A sinking feeling filled her stomach—what she had thought would be a discussion to ease her fears had quickly turned into one that enlarged them.

"Now, my dear girl," he continued. His tone became cheery and upbeat once more, and his eyes widened with spirit. "We have greatly missed you at my little dinners. I am having one more tomorrow evening, the last one for the year, and I would appreciate it if you could try your best to attend."

Lily forced a smile. "Alright, Professor. I will see you there."

"Good girl!" he said with a booming laugh. "I knew you would prioritize it."

The evening of the dinner, Lily took her time walking to Slughorn's office where the dinners were held. When she entered the room, there were seven people already sitting at a large round table which was set generously with food and decor. Slughorn was in a discussion with a young third year whose father, Lily remembered, was the head of the office of the Auror's.

"He doesn' tell me much, Professor," the boy replied with a mouthful of warm bread. "O' course it's because of the secrecy of 'is job. But when he comes home, I can tell that things aren't goin' very well at the moment."

"I see," Slughorn noted as his face fell in disappointment. "Lily!" he exclaimed as she walked around the table to sit down. "For those of you who do not know, this is Lily Evans. She has been a little busy to come to my dinners all year, but she is one of my most promising students!"

Blushing, Lily raised a hand in greeting to the people that surrounded the table. Some of them looked familiar from the last time she had forced herself to come, like Mary Macdonald, the girl who Mulciber had tried to hex. One of the cruelest girls in the school, she had a talent for Defense Against the Dark Arts and showed promise to be an Auror. But Lily had heard her speaking about joining with the Death Eaters, and the thought of it sent shivers down Lily's spine. Mary shot her a spiteful gaze.

Then there was Walter Cunnings, a sixth year with a crooked nose who played Seeker for Ravenclaw, and, unfortunately, was absolutely brilliant at it. He often boasted about becoming a professional after school.

On the right side of Mary was a boy, a year younger than Lily. He had dark hair that fell to his shoulders and a handsome, yet somewhat hardened face. She recognized him to be Sirius' younger brother. Although they looked alike, there were distinct differences between him and Sirius—first of all, he was proudly garnished in Slytherin attire. His perfect posture and upturned nose told Lily that he was a haughty boy who was used to being treated as someone special. While Sirius could sometimes have an over confident attitude, there was something different about the way his younger brother portrayed himself. She wondered if Sirius and him got along at all; it seemed that they were polar opposites.

"Are you happy about the end of the school year, Professor?" Mary asked him with a forced sweetness in her voice.

"No, no, no I will miss all of you terribly while you're on holiday. Although," he said fondly. "I do intend to use the break to work on my collection of poisonous spiders. I only need to find one more to complete my European collection, you know."

Mary shot him a smile, although her eyes danced with humor. "How fascinating."

"So, Lily, how do you think you did on your OWL's?" Slughorn asked with raised eyebrows.

She chewed the piece of bread she had just put in her mouth quickly, and then smiled. "Fine, I think, Professor. There was one part of the Potions exam that threw me a little, but then I remembered one of your lectures in class. I should have decent scores on all of them."

"Do you know what career you want to go into?" Walter questioned. His nose appeared even more obscure when he turned toward her. Lily wondered if it got broken by a fist due to his constant obsessing over how good he was at Quidditch.

"I'm not sure yet," Lily replied kindly. "I want to see my scores from the tests before I decide."

Slughorn clasped his hands together. "You will have done wonderfully, my dear girl, I am sure of it. I know you will go on to do great things."

"Thank you, Professor," Lily told him. "Actually, there is something I have been thinking a lot about lately. With all of this talk about the Death Eaters, I think it would be wise to form some sort of resistance group against them. Someone to stand up to what they have been saying."

At the sound of the word 'Death Eaters,' Walter spit his soup back into his bowl and the others looked up at her with open mouths. The topic was something discussed amongst friends, sure—but speaking about it in this manner made it too real for them. Lily watched as Slughorn's round face scrunched up in an unnerving manner.

"Miss Evans..." he started.

"Think about it," Lily continued forcefully. "Someone has to stand up to them. The Ministry doesn't seem to be doing anything about it, and everyday their message of hate spreads further and further..."

Sirius' brother scoffed. His eyes met hers, dark and threatening. "And who are you to suppress people's opinions? They are only speaking what they believe."

"What they believe?" Lily asked. "How can people take this so lightly? It's intolerance!"

"It's not up to people like you to change what is happening!" Mary shrieked. "You may think you are the best thing that's ever happened to this school, Evans, but don't fool yourself into believing you are powerful enough to stop a needed change in society. He has some brilliant ideas, you know. But all you've probably had ears to hear about were things that could be taken the wrong way."

Lily shot up out of her seat and pointed a threatening finger at Mary, whose fat head looked like it was about to explode with rage. "A needed change of society, huh? I don't think what society needs is a Mudblood-hating man putting lies into people's ears who are too thick to think for themselves!"

"Miss Evans!" Slughorn roared, standing up from his seat as well. His face was now completely purple, and beads of sweat were dripping down his thick neck. "Do not use such language!"

"But that's what he's doing! Against people like me! Trying to get others to believe that we're not as good as the Purebloods of society. Don't you see that things like this need to be stopped immediately! The Ministry has let it go on long enough. It's just words right now, but one day they _will_ turn into actions!"

"And you think you can do something to stop it?" Mary hissed. "Form a little army all on your own, will you now?"

"Someone has to!" Lily retorted with a snap. "Some things are worth fighting for! And it has to be the ones brave enough to stand up to it that take the first..."

"Sit down!" Slughorn shouted, and the room instantly became silent. Lily, breathing heavy and full of adrenaline, silenced herself, but she did not sit down. "This is an inappropriate conversation for this dinner. Like I have told you before, Miss Evans, the Ministry of Magic is there to protect us from things. If they wanted the group squashed, they would have done so! So we can only assume that they are of no threat to us, despite what their ideas are!"

"But it's their ideas..." Lily started.

"Enough! We have heard your ideas, Lily, and while I value your passion, you are clearly out of line and speaking about things of which you know nothing about. You are still a student at this school, and no matter how bright you are, you do not have the training necessary to put an end to anything! It takes years and years of studying beyond school to become a mastered wizard or witch. So I suggest you put aside all of those thoughts and continue to focus on your studies. One day, with enough effort, you will be able to fulfill your dream of being a great leader in society. But until then, I do not want to hear another word about the subject!"

"Fine," Lily replied gently. "I'm sorry for ruining the dinner, Professor. Good evening to all of you." And then, with her head held high, she walked out of his office, ignoring the shouts of protest from Slughorn.

Once outside in the hallway, she pushed aside any regret that was making its way through her heart. Although she may have gone about it the wrong way, someone needed to say it aloud. Like James had told her at the beginning of the year—the Death Eaters needed to be stopped. It was through hate that more hate was bred, and like James' father had said, if no one did anything to stop them now, they were going to be more difficult to put to an end in the future.

She knew she was just a fifteen-year-old girl with no real ability to do anything to change the world. But who she was on the inside was completely opposite of that. She knew she was strong enough to fight against hatred—she knew she was brave enough. She may be young, but what people couldn't see was that age had nothing to do with it. The words she had spoken to Mary rung through her head.

_Some things are worth fighting for._

What all would she give up for something she believed in? Would she give up friendships? Her family? Would she even go so far to give up her own life? These dark questions spun around her mind threateningly—with great change, comes great sacrifice, she thought. How many people would be willing to make sacrifices just so their world could be a better place? How many people, when faced with the decision, would give up their own life to save something that they deeply treasured?

People had to be better than they made themselves out to be. There had to be one ounce of good left in this dark, forsaken world. Or else people were doomed to live under the outlook of the Death Eaters and their master. A world of hatred that eliminated people who did not fit in a certain mold.

With a sigh, Lily headed back to her dormitory, more confused than ever before, but knowing without a doubt in her heart that no matter what the cost, she was going to always stand up for what she believed in. Images of James filled her head. 'I want to fight Death Eaters,' he had told her. Maybe James wasn't as off the mark as she had once believed.

There were two days of school left, and while every other year were busy studying for their finals, the fifth years were free to spend their free time however they pleased. This left Lily with way too much time on her hands for her liking, which she had to force herself to spend with her friends so she didn't appear to be too much of a recluse. She couldn't wait to board the train home for the summer, which would take her to see her loving parents who knew nothing of her crazy life at school.

It was evening, and Lily had changed into her dressing gown and was sitting by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room with a large group of fifth years, who were fondly remembering the school year. She felt a tap on her shoulder and looked up to see Mary Chensworth, a fifth year, frowning at her.

"Severus Snape is outside begging to see you. He's saying he will sleep on the floor outside the portrait if her needs to." Mary, like the others, hated Severus and had constantly pestered Lily about why she chose his company. She contorted her face in disgust, and then as Lily if she could please go outside to get him away from their Common Room.

Lily flew toward the entrance before she could listen to Mary telling the others where she was going. She pulled open the door, which thankfully was not set in view of the others, and poked her head outside. Sitting on the cold ground was Severus. He looked more worn out than usual—his greasy black hair looked like it hadn't been washed for days, and there was a paleness in his face that resembled the whiteness of the moon.

"I'm sorry," he told her softly. His black eyes danced with regret.

"I'm not interested," she snapped.

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath. I only came because Mary said you were threatening to sleep here."

He gave a stiff nod of his head. "I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood. It just..."

"Slipped out?" Lily said coldly. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious Death Eater friends...you see, you don't even deny it!" she said when he averted his gaze to the wall. "You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it shut when he decided against it.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen you're way, and I've chosen mine."

Severus' eyes grew wide with fear. "No, listen...I didn't mean..."

"...to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone else of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Severus stammered for a remark as she crawled back through the portrait hole, but the Fat Lady closed the door behind her.


	6. Chapter 6

Here is a new chapter! Enjoy! Please review if you get a chance :)

**I do not own any of the characters**

CHAPTER SIX

Lily's sixth year flew by quickly, which she was grateful for. High OWL scores meant that she had an overload of difficult classes that left her studying for hours on end. Worn out from mental exhaustion, she was filled with relief when it was finally time to go home for the summer.

Avoiding Severus during the year hadn't been as hard as she would have imagined. She hardly saw him on the grounds, and when she had the displeasure of doing so, she took pride in completely ignoring him just as the rest of the school did. He continued to spend his time with Avery, Mulciber, Sirius' brother Regulus, and some others who had formed a sort of gang who claimed they were going to join the man who lead the Death Eaters, known to everyone as Voldemort. Not many people, however, were willing to say this name aloud. Talk of the subject continued to be contained to only whispers, and with the exception of the future Death Eaters, no one seemed comfortable with acknowledging the issue beyond that.

In fact, not much had changed at all during the course of the year concerning the subject. Voldemort continued to be a source of influence for people concerning how the Wizarding world should be run, but in Lily's eyes he was being strategic with how he went about it—from what she had heard and read, he never outright stated what should be done about Muggles and Muggle-borns. His only focus seemed to be on gaining the support of powerful people. Among whom had been a Slytherin Prefect when Lily was in her first few years at school, Lucious Malfoy. After he had finished with Hogwarts, he became a major source of influence in the Ministry of Magic, although many believed it had more to do with the monetary influences of his wealthy family than his brilliance. It was people like Malfoy, pureblooded and wealthier than God, who supported the new ideas as if they were what their world had been missing all along.

It was now two weeks before the start of the new school year, and Lily was in her room reading through the new Potions book she had gotten at Diagon Alley the other day. Suddenly, a shriek sounded downstairs, and she threw the book on her bed and hurried down the steps to find her sister, panic-stricken and standing on a chair. The front door was wide open and there was a speckled brown and white owl hopping on the floor with an envelope tied to its foot.

"Get this thing out of here!" Petunia hissed.

"How thick are you? You can't stand on a chair to get away from an owl. They can fly, you know." Lily snapped as she hurried over to the bird to remove the letter. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of crackers to give him one, which he ate gratefully. He then hooted his thanks before flying out the door.

Petunia shuddered. "It shouldn't be in our house at all! What if Vernon was over? How would I have explained that?"

"You're going to have to tell him what I am eventually, Tuney." Lily glanced at the large engagement ring sparkling theatrically on her sister's left hand. "You can't hide it forever. Things like this are bound to happen."

Petunia's shrill laugh echoed through the foyer. "And have him think I'm as bonkers as you?"

"Oh that's right, I'm the insane sister. How could I forget..." Lily mumbled under her breath.

Stepping down from the chair, Petunia straightened her mussed up clothing. "Well, now that that ordeal is over with, it's time for me to continue with my wedding plans. Vernon and I are thinking of doing an outdoor ceremony in the tropics, what do you think?" There was so much contempt her voice, Lily wanted to smack her. Ever since she came home with the ring on her finger, she had strived to make Lily jealous of her fairytale love. But as far as Lily could see, Vernon was a portly, bigoted fool was constantly in competition with the people around him and had absolutely no mind of his own-a prize no one would be envious of.

"He's coming over later," Petunia snapped. "So if you must do anything peculiar, please do so before he arrives. I must say, it is not fair for guests to have to be subjected to your strange mannerisms."

"Mannerisms? Are you referring to my use of magic? Because if you knew me at all, you would remember that I cannot do magic outside of school until after this year."

She pressed her lips so tightly together that she appeared to have just bitten a piece out of a sour lemon. "I really despise you, did you know that? You strut around this house with your head buried in those ghastly books about magic tricks, thinking you are better than everyone else because you can point a stick at a cup and make it float."

Lily gave an incredulous laugh. "I don't know what you expect me to do, Petunia! This has been going on for seven years now. This is who I am. I do not pretend that I am better than you, even though that's all you ever do to me."

Petunia's face contorted into an ugly glare. "You know, I really don't want you at my wedding. We already have entertainment—we don't need a freak show."

"Fine, if that's what you want..." Lily snapped. "But just remember that I am the only sister you have, Petunia. You're throwing our relationship away."

"You can't throw away something you never had. You are not my sister, Lily. You stopped being my sister since the day you got that first letter in the mail!" With a shriek of frustration, she stormed out of the room and up the stairs.

It was times such as these that the sinking realization of their unrepairable relationship would wash over her. Lily took a deep breath, shaking off the encounter they just had, and turned her attention to the mysterious letter in her hand.

Dear Ms. Lily Evans,

I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen to be the Head Girl for the upcoming school year. Please report to the Prefects carriage on the Hogwarts Express and be prepared to lead the Prefects in their duties during the train ride. Hogwarts had certainly gained a responsible young woman to lead it through the next school year.

Best wishes,

Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster

Head Girl! she thought excitedly. She had almost forgotten about the honor that she had dreamed about since her first day at Hogwarts. She had been certain that her incident with James during their fifth year had caused her to forfeit the title, but apparently Dumbledore had been kind enough to see past that.

"Mum, Dad, come quick!" she called loudly. And when they ran into the room, she announced in a sing-song voice, "Guess what. I'm going to be Head Girl!"

Her mother gasped. "My little girl, head of the school! Oh, how wonderful!"

"Congratulations, darling!" said her father as he placed a big kiss on the top of her head. "We must have a celebratory dinner! Where is your sister?"

"Upstairs. But I don't think she'll be interested in coming. She's angry with me, yet again."

Disapproval filled her father's face and walked over to the bottom of the staircase to call up to his daughter. "Tuney, we are going out for supper in honor of your sister. Inform Vernon and be ready to leave at half past the hour!"

Petunia appeared at the top of the steps, looking wild with anger. "But, Daddy, Vernon and I had plans tonight!" she whined like a child half her age.

"Your sister is Head Girl of her school. We want the entire family to celebrate!" her mother told her brightly. While their father often played a strict role in mediating between the two sisters, their mother pretended like the animosity didn't exist at all and kept up a rather annoying amount of optimism about the situation.

"Why should I care about Lily becoming head of some ridiculous school? Besides, Vernon doesn't feel very comfortable around her..."

"Enough, Petunia," their father snapped. "You are coming to the dinner tonight and we are going to show Vernon that we are a happy family. We do not need this kind of animosity before your wedding. Go get ready."

With an angry glare to Lily, Petunia whirled around and back into her room. Lily watched as their faces fell, conveying hopelessness—they were now quite used to their eldest daughter's bitterness, but becoming accustomed to it did not make it any easier. She knew that they tried to keep the peace the best they could, but it was slowly wearing them down. Lily made it a priority to not do anything to provoke Petunia into fits of rage, but lately with the stress of the wedding, it only took little things to set her off.

"Congratulations again, Lily," said her mother. "You deserve it."

"Thank you," Lily replied sweetly. "I wonder who the Head Boy will be. I hope it's not Gordrick from Slytherin. He is absolutely awful, and we wouldn't work well together at all. Of course, it can also be someone who has not been a Prefect...but I don't know when that has ever happened."

Her father beamed. "We're sure your Headmaster will choose someone just as deserving as you."

Lily hurried up the steps and into her room, which was strewn with various items she would be taking with her to Hogwarts. There were books on practically every subject, some ripped open out of their packaging, some borrowed from older friends. On top of her dresser sat the new Sneakoscope she had bought for herself after her parents gave her money for a back-to-school present. The purpose of it was to detect when Dark Magic was near, something that Lily had never thought she would buy, but had struck her curiosity when she passed it in one of the shops. Maybe it would come in handy one day.

She went to her closet and found a knee-length pink flowered dress that she had yet to wear-the uniforms at Hogwarts didn't allow for much time dressing in other clothes. She put some makeup on her face and when she thought she looked decent enough, she hurried down the stairs just as Vernon stomped into the house. Lily watched as Petunia planted and overdramatic kiss on his lips and then turned to Lily with heartless smirk. "We're ready, Daddy," she chirped with a false sweetness.

Lily's parents, dressed nicely for the occasion, emerged in the room. Her father walked over and shook Vernon's hand. "Nice to see you again, Vernon."

"The pleasure is all mine, sir," Vernon said with a wide, ugly grin on his round face. He was constantly aiming to impress their father because he only had eyes for those who were successful. He made Lily sick to her stomach, the epitome of everything that was wrong with the world.

"Daddy, Mum, can we go to that restaurant on Fifth Street, please? It's my absolute favorite!" Petunia begged.

"Let Lily decide, darling," their mother responded gently. "It is her celebration after all."

Not wanting to upset Petunia further, Lily agreed on the restaurant and they piled into the car. The ride there, like most of their time together as a family lately, was spent listening to Petunia talk about her wedding. Every so often, she would ask Vernon questions, and he would respond with a grumbled "uh huh" or "no," which most of the time did not make sense in context. But Petunia, so absorbed in herself, didn't seem to notice.

As soon as they sat down to their table, Lily's father smiled. "Good choice, Tuney. We haven't had a nice meal as a family in far too long."

"Yes, this..." her mother started, and then paused as she squinted her eyes to see in the distance. "Lily, isn't that your classmate? The Potter boy?"

As she comprehended these words, Lily's heart sunk into her stomach. She turned around slowly, praying that her mother had forgotten to put her contacts in and was only seeing a boy who looked like James. But there he was, sitting in between his mother and father. As they made eye contact, a grin spread over his face and his eyes lit up. He excused himself from the company of his parents and hurried over to their table.

"Hello, Lily," he greeted politely. "Mr. and Mrs. Evans, how are you?" He looked older than he ever had before; his physical appearance had certainly matured over the summer. While his face had once held a boyish look, it was now handsome and strong. He walked with more confidence than ever before, only now it wasn't in so much of the egotistical manner that had made Lily's blood boil. He was as tall and thin as he was before, but Lily could tell his arms now held some muscle under his dress shirt.

"We're doing very well, thank you," Lily's mother replied with a smile. "Have you ever met our eldest daughter Petunia? And her fiance, Vernon."

James raised a hand in greeting. "Nice to meet you."

Petunia looked him up and down, apparently displeased that another one of Lily's kind was in front of her. Vernon greeted him in a gruff voice and then went right back to stuffing his face with bread.

"We're celebrating Lily becoming Head Girl," her father explained.

James smiled warmly. "Congratulations, Lily. You certainly deserve it."

"Thank you," Lily told him.

"I need to get back to my parents. I will see you in a few weeks, Lily. It was nice seeing you again, Mr. and Mrs. Evans." He shot them a charming smile and then walked back over to the table where his parents were now ordering food from the waiter.

"How lovely," Lily's mother mused. "Such a nice boy."

"I still don't see why you don't give him a chance," said her father.

Petunia chuckled cruelly. "As if she could ever be with someone like him. He's so charming and handsome and confident. And you..." she looked Lily over in disgust. "Well..."

"Enough," their father snapped. "Honestly, can't we have one nice meal without you saying something mean to your sister? You are acting childish, Petunia."

At the sound of her father's rebuking, Petunia pursed her lips once more and looked down at the menu. Lily sighed and began to think of the wedding that she would not be attending. At least she wouldn't have to wear an ugly maid-of-honor dress. As Lily smiled to herself, she began to think that maybe there was hidden beauty in even the most awful of messes.

Lily was now boarding the Hogwarts Express for her last year of school. She glanced back at her parents, who both had tears glistening in their eyes. With a deep breath, she climbed the steps of the train for the first time as Head Girl, her badge displayed proudly on her chest. The usual Prefect's were in the compartment, along with eight new faces from the fifth years. Remus was sitting in one of the seats, looking somewhat refreshed from his summer at home, but by the sickly look in his eyes, not much.

And next to him, with a polished Head Boy badge pinned neatly to his robes like a large contradiction, was James Potter.

"How..." Lily began to ask as he rose to greet her.

"Hi, Evans."

She stood there for a second, darting her eyes between his face and the badge on his chest.

"Potter," she began. "How did you get that badge?"

He shrugged. "Dumbledore gave it to me, same as you."

"You never said anything the night we saw you at the restaurant."

"You never asked."

Once again, James Potter had used his wit and charm to How could Dumbledore not see through James' act? She thought back to that night in Dumbledore's office, when he told them both that they were the students with the most potential. She had thought it was just something he said to make students feel bad about their actions, but apparently Dumbledore had been telling the truth—out of all the boys in their year, he had chosen James Potter for Head Boy. His years of mischief should have made him ineligible for the position, but in some moment of utter confusion, Dumbledore had decided to look past it.

"But Remus is the Gryffindor Prefect," she snapped as she collapsed in the seat ahead of him. "I can't believe Professor Dumbledore would pick you for Head Boy instead of him."

"It's fine, Lily. He's just as good for the job as me," Remus interjected, but there was a hint of jealousy in his voice. He must have heard it too because instead of continuing in the conversation, he quickly turned back toward the window.

James' face was now bright with anger. "Can we not fight here? I think I've argued with you more than I would a sister."

Lily scowled at him. "Dumbledore made a mistake."

He laughed sarcastically and turned back to Remus, busying himself in an exaggerated discussion of what changes he was going to make to the school now that he was Head Boy. She wanted to scream at him, wanted to throw him out of the Prefect's compartment. He did not belong in here. This was her domain, where she reigned. James would only ruin it.

"Let's get something straight right now, Potter," she interrupted, and with a roll of his eyes James turned back to her. "I want this to be a good year—and you are not exactly known for following the rules. But now that you're Head Boy, you need to grow up and start setting an example for this school."

"I think you set all the example we need around here, Evans," James sneered.

Remus chuckled. "Calm down, Lily," he told her. "Don't let him get you worked up. You're going to be fantastic this year, and nothing he does is going to effect that."

"Try to keep him in line, will you?" she asked him with an over dramatic sigh. "Isn't that why Dumbledore made you Prefect in the first place? To keep your friends under control?"

James patted his friend on the back. "Good ol' Dumbledore, only made it easier to get away with thing. One less Prefect roaming the hallways waiting to give us detention."

It was hard to stifle that laugh that was rising up through her. "Come on," she told him quickly. "The train is leaving and we have to give everyone their orders."

At the sound of the opportunity to give orders to his inferiors, James shot up out of his seat and hurried to the front of the compartment. He cleared his throat to get the attention of the chattering Prefects, the roaring of the train only making it louder in the compartment. "Hello?" he said when they did not become silent. "OY!" he shouted loudly, and they stopped and turned their attention to him. "There you go. I'm James Potter and I'll be your divine leader for the ye...ouch!" James' left hand flew to his ribs, which Lily had just elbowed with force. "And this," he continued, pointing to her. "Is your slave driver, Lily Evans..."

Lily shot him an irritated glance. "I apologize for him," she told them all and then continued smoothly. "For those of you who are fifth years, congratulations of becoming Prefects. I know that if we work together, we can have a great year..."

"They don't want to hear boring speeches, Evans, they want to start patrolling the hallways and giving detentions to their enemies!"

"Potter!" Lily snapped. "Now, if the fifth years will stand up, you will be taking the first shift for the train. Go with your House partner...Jennings, no running! Smith, you have to stay with Espinato! Go on now, get moving please...there you go..."

She spun around on her heels and gave James a death glare. "Stop. It. Now," she snapped.

Grinning boyishly, he held his hands up in surrender. "Just trying to liven it up a little. Remus always complained how boring the Head Girl and Boy speeches always are..."

"We have to take this seriously if we're going to gain their respect, Potter."

"No reason why we can't have fun in the process. As a matter of fact, I have a few ideas I want to run by you..."

"No new ideas!" she groaned. "No parties, no surprise raids on the first years, no water slides in the Prefect bathrooms..."

"Hey, I thought that last one was a good idea!" he replied indignantly. "Those bathrooms could be utilized in such a better way. Always ruining the fun..."

"You're going to slowly drive me insane this year, aren't you?" Lily asked with a frown.

James nodded, and she reached out to give him a playful shove. As their eyes locked, Lily felt a flutter in her stomach, the same feeling she'd had when she was a fifth year and James had charmed his way into her life. Only this time, there was something even more intriguing about him then had been there before. Once a reckless boy, his demeanor seemed to have completely changed. The feelings that she had subsided for the past year were now rising back to the surface at an alarmingly fast rate—and she felt absolutely helpless to stop them.

Think of what he did to you, she reminded herself. But really, what had he done? Caused her to live a little? Brought out the adventure that she had stowed away for fear of it bringing out emotions that she wasn't willing to deal with? At the time, James' arrogance, insensitivity, and bullying seemed to overtake her desire to be with him. But now, as she looked into his eyes, all of it seemed to have disappeared completely.

As he smiled warmly at her, she forgot the past and pushed all her thoughts aside. And she smiled back.

"Evans!" James called from the top of the hill in the center of the grounds. "Attention, Lily Evans!"

She whirled around in mid-conversation with Kathryn Mater, whose jaw dropped as she watched James come running down the hill at full speed toward the girls, the momentum of the act making him go faster than his means. Lily sidestepped out of the way just as he broke through the space where she was just standing.

"Trying to break our necks, Potter?" Lily gasped.

With the grace that he showed when he was on a broom, he caught his balance and spun around to look at her. "Some kids are hexing each other in the Common Room! Come on!"

Before she could get out her first question, James had grabbed her wrist and she was being pulled toward the castle.

"Ringaling," James told the Fat Lady when they reached their destination, who swung the door open to the Gryffindor Common Room.

The room was completely empty of misbehaving students. Instead, two chocolate cupcakes, one with a pink candle stuck inside it, were sitting on an end table.

"What the hell is this?" Lily asked.

"Cupcakes," James said proudly. "Made 'em for you."

"Why?"

"Because it's your birthday..."

"No it isn't. My birthday is in January."

The expression on his face did not change to that of disappointment-rather his eyes twinkled with usual mischief. "Oh. Well, then do you want one anyway?"

Lily eyed him suspiciously as he grabbed a cupcake and extended it out to her. "Uhh...sure..." she replied apprehensively. He motioned for her to sit on the couch.

"So, how is your school year going so far?"

"Good..." said Lily. She gave him another questioning look. "What are you up to, Potter?"

"I feel like I have to use elaborate measures to get you to go on a date with me."

"A date?" she asked with a mouthful of the mouthwatering treat, and he nodded. "I thought we were past the whole dating issue. It didn't work out last time."

"That's because I was stupid, Lily. I didn't treat you the way you should be treated, and I'm sorry for that. Plus, emotions were running high because of Snape and getting caught, and...well, I messed everything up. But I'm dying for another chance." Wild passion danced through his eyes, and the sweet scent of cake batter still lingered on his clothing. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me. And I swear, I've changed. I'd do anything to prove it to you."

Heart racing, Lily turned away. "We're not a good idea, James. We just don't work-too different. And...I still haven't gotten past what happened at the lake that week with Severus."

When she looked up at him, his face was full of sadness and guilt. "I know, I was an idiot. I'm sorry, Lily. But you know what he did to us! I was just getting him back."

"Did to us? What are you talking about?"

"Snape!" And when she didn't respond, his eyes grew wide. "You mean he never confessed to you? Bloody coward. Lily...he was the one who told on us that night."

Her cupcake toppled to the ground as she sprung off the couch. "There you go again! You are completely out of your mind, you know that? Severus would never do that to me!"

"How naive are you?" James snapped.

"Excuse m..."

"People like Severus will do anything to get what they want! He liked you and he was going to do anything to make sure that we weren't together. Even if it meant throwing you under the bus!"

"You can't expect me to believe that," Lily snarled, crossing her arms. "He was my best friend!"

"Oh, come on, Lily, you can stop defending him now! You know deep down in your heart that he wasn't a friend to you like you were to him. He didn't want us together, so he did what he does best—he snuck around like the rodent he is to find out what was going on between us so he could put a stop to it. And guess what? He's good at it!" James caught his breath, waiting for her to answer.

She had been deceived for so long. Even after her and Severus had stopped speaking, she had still reflected on their friendship with reverence, truly believing that they had just been two different people with two different priorities. But how true that had been, she only realized now; their entire relationship had been a lie. It had just been a pawn like in the games of chess they often played together-an instrument he would use to get what he truly wanted. That was why he was distant when it suited him. That was why he dabbled in the Dark Arts even though he knew it tore her apart. That was why he would do anything to make sure she wasn't with James, even if it made her happier than she ever had been in her entire life. While she had always thought that Severus had built her up, she now realized that all he had done was tear her down. And it was only when she was safe away from him that she realized how better off she was without him. Without him, there was a chance that she could be whole again.

How foolish of her to believe that someone had loved her without conditions. Severus, Petunia...both were too much alike, only allowing Lily to be happy if it meant fulfilling their own selfish desires. How in the world did they call that love? It was the farthest thing from it. Love wasn't greedy or manipulative. True love was found in someone who made you better, yet cherished you for the person you are. Someone who poured his heart out for you, changed for you, apologized when they were wrong, showed you mercy when you when you were the one who had made the mistake. You weren't forced to give up the things you loved most in the world when you loved someone, like Petunia expected. And you didn't have to bend to the will of someone you loved in order for them to keep you safe, like Severus desired. Instead love gave you things that you always dreamed about; it kept you safe no matter what. No, there weren't any conditions in love.

She looked up at him with pain-filled eyes; his face was softer than she had ever seen it before. And deep within his brown eyes, there seemed to be an undeceptive ache for her pain.

"How do I know you won't hurt me too?" she finally whispered. Her voice cracked with emotion.

Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead to hers and gently ran his fingers through her hair. "Because I love you," he told her, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And it was.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had leaped forward and pressed her lips to his. They dropped on the couch in a fury of romantic passion, and his hand grasped her lower back longingly. Not again, she thought. Don't do this. He'll only hurt you. You always end up getting wounded, crushed, demolished...

But as he held her in his arms, their mouths moving together in perfect harmony, she had never felt more protected in her entire life. She couldn't close herself off just because she had gotten hurt by a few selfish people. Not when there was someone in front of her who was willing to do whatever it took to heal her of her pain. And she knew that he wasn't just an instrument who she would use to get rid of that pain-she wasn't willing to manipulate someone like Severus had. This was as real an anything. And he had always been right in front of her. She was diving head-first. And for the first time in a long time, she wasn't scared.

She pulled away from him, stared deep into his eyes, and let a vulnerable trust slowly fill her once more.

"I love you too."


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry I haven't written for awhile. Please read and review if you can!

Thanks :)

**I do not own the characters**

CHAPTER SEVEN

James grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her out of the Common Room, where they walked outside into the hallway, emptied for supper, to find Remus, Sirius, and Peter sitting on a windowsill waiting for them. As their eyes lit up at the sight of James and Lily's clasped hands, they looked like three little boys, waiting for their father to get home to take them on a fishing trip.

"Finally! Six years too late!" Sirius cheered, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "You don't know how much I've had to hear this bloke go on and on about how much he loves you and wants to win you back, Evans. Slowly driving me insane, that's what he was doing."

Lily laughed. "Did Sirius plan this with you?" she asked James.

"Now that you're one of us, you gotta start using the nicknames. It kills me to hear the name Remus." James made a face after he said his friend's name, and Remus shoved him playfully.

"This," James continued, clasping his hands on Sirius' shoulders, who grinned handsomely. "Is Padfoot." He then moved onto Remus. "This is Mooney." Finally, he pushed Peter forward, who blushed shyly and raised a chubby hand. "This is Wormtail. And I," he stepped forward valiantly and gave a charming smile. "Am Prongs."

Sirius shook his head. "Oy, Prongs...she doesn't even know why we call each other that."

Lily shifted uncomfortably. "Well I know why you use one of the names. I...well, I figured it out." She lifted her gaze to meet Remus', and he expelled a horrified groan.

"Oh, man, that's all I need, someone other than you figuring it out and telling the whole school. Can you imagine the outrage?"

"That's not going to happen, Mooney," James replied calmly. "That's why we go to great lengths to keep it a secret."

The look of appreciation in Remus' eyes as he looked toward James and the others was not just one of simple gratitude—it seemed that his entire happiness rested in the hands of his friends.

"Is...is it hard? Being a..." she asked uneasily.

With a shrug, Remus forced a smile. "You get used to it. Dumbledore has been great about it—having the Whomping Willow planted and everything. Great guy, that Dumbledore is..."

"So why the rest of the names?"

Sirius laughed. "You're not going to like it..." he told her. When she asked him again, he took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "Alright. We are unregistered Animangi. James is a stag, Peter is a rat, and I am a dog. It was the only way we could be with Mooney when he went through his...you, know..._episode."_

"Make it sound like I'm bloody insane, why don't you..." Remus mumbled.

"Unreg...that's illegal!" Lily whispered sharply. "Does Dumbledore know about this? Well of course he doesn't, he would never allow it..."

At the sound of this thought, Remus' face whitened. "And he's _never_ going to find out. He's been so good to me. I don't think I could stand the look of disappointment on his face if he found out we went behind his back."

Lily glanced at James, who did not look worried in the least. In fact, more confidence radiated through him then she had ever seen before. It seemed that when James was doing something mischievous and cunning, there was nothing in the world that could stop him. She imagined him rebelling against the Death Eaters like he had said he was going to do one day. He was the type of person who would never give up until he found a way to outsmart them. A warrior's soul, her mother would call it.

"You need to be careful," she told them, using her words carefully. She didn't want to offend Remus, but spending time with a werewolf, even while in animal form, was not something to go about lightly.

"We will," James chuckled. "Promise."

"We're really careful, Lily," Peter reassured her kindly. Out of the four of them, he looked the most frightened about what they were doing. Lily felt sorry for him; he would probably never say what he was really thinking out loud, only going along with what they told him to do for fear of losing them. And he was such a nice boy, she thought. She supposed that sometimes he deserved better.

Sirius hopped down from the windowsill. "Okay, well now that Lily is finally with Prongs, we need to celebrate. I think we should go out tonight. All in favor say aye."

"Aw come on, Padfoot," Remus said, shaking his head. "She's Head Girl. She doesn't need us getting her into trouble."

"And he's Head Boy and you're a damn Prefect!" Sirius groaned. "I swear, my friends have gone soft on me. Me and Wormtail are the only sensible ones."

At the sound of his name, Peter began laughing overenthusiastically. Sirius shot him a look of annoyance, but she could tell that he, like James, enjoyed being worshipped.

James was now tilting his head, giving her a pleading look that annoyed her as much as it made her smile. "Live a little."

"Do you want a repeat of last time?" she teased, but at the mention of the past, hurt filled his eyes. She gave him an apologetic smile. "Oh, alright, I'll go if you want to. As long as we're careful."

Sirius' face lit up, and Lily could almost see the dozen of ideas racing through his mind "Perfect. We'll all meet in the Common Room at eleven. Don't be late or I'll personally sock you...except for you, Evans."

"Thank you..." Lily replied sarcastically as the five of them headed toward the Great Hall for dinner.

When eleven o'clock came, Lily and James were already waiting in the Common Room for the rest of them, none of whom had not listened to Sirius' warning and were nowhere to be found. The two of them sat down on a couch and James put his arm around her shoulders. Closing her eyes, she lay back on his strong chest and fell into a state of comfort and protection which only he could provide.

"I've missed you," she told him.

"Me too." The hurt had flooded back into his voice, making a sweet vulnerability that she didn't want to wane. "I'm so glad you said yes."

"I'm glad you asked. I would have thought you'd have given up on me."

"Never," was the simple word he chose. It played back in her mind like a love song, warmed her heart like the words of a poem. Sitting her now, listening to the sound of his heart beating, Lily knew there was nothing in the world that she wanted more than for James Potter to be all hers. And that, more than anything else, scared her the most. It was only when you had something that you could lose it. It was only when you loved someone that they could hurt you. Although everyone wanted love, hardly anyone seemed to realize how much it tore you apart on the inside. To love and to be loved meant taking a piece of your own heart and giving it to someone else, a process that was as figuratively messy as much as it would be if the action were literal. And then, if you were lucky, the other person would treasure it, hold onto it, treat it like their own or better even. It was just a matter of finding that person who would be willing to keep it safe.

When the boys finally came down, Lily and James hadn't said another word to each other. But there hadn't been a need—it was like the quiet Common Room had been filled with the unspoken words. They sat up when Sirius walked over to them. "Sorry to interrupt," he told them, making a gagging noise. "Didn't know you wanted to cuddle by the fire."

"Shut up," James smiled. "Like you weren't doing that with Doreen Johnson last week..."

"Hey, that was supposed to be a secret, thank you very much," Sirius laughed. "I don't want people to know that I was cozying up to that girl with the big nose. It was more of an opportunity thing, you understand..."

"You're mean, you know that?" Lily told him, only half serious, as she stood to her feet with James. She lowered her voice. "So where are we going?"

Sirius smiled. "You'll find out, Evans, calm down now. Prongs, did you bring the cloak?"

With a groan, James ran back upstairs to the boys' dormitory to retrieve the Invisibility Cloak, which he had apparently forgotten.

"What is _up_ with him?" Sirius grumbled. "Forgetting the cloak? Has he lost his mind?"

"Maybe he has too much on his mind," Peter suggested, pointing to Lily.

Sirius rolled his eyes as Lily raised her eyebrows. "Well that just isn't going to work, is it? You need to make yourself more unattractive, Evans. That way he'll still like you for your personality, but he won't be gushing over you every five minutes, forgetting everything..."

"And that I will take as a compliment, thank you, Padfoot," Lily replied wittily. She smiled at Sirius, who grinned back with an honest admiration in his eyes. She may have disrupted their friendship, but she knew that in order for her to be standing here with them right now she had to have won not only Sirius' approval, but his loyalty. There had been other girls that James dated throughout his time at Hogwarts, and Lily was certain none of them were allowed the honor of tagging along with the boys on one of their escapades into the unknown, let alone being permitted to know about them.

"Got it!" James said softly as he emerged with the silver cloak she hadn't see for two years. It looked exactly the same, with no tears in the magical fibers as far as Lily could see. She grabbed it from his hands and examined it more closely; each thread was perfectly intact, as if it had just been woven last week. And even then, they wouldn't have been so flawless.

"Same old cloak, Lily," James chuckled as she made her way down the edges, still scrutinizing. "It's not like you haven't seen it before."

Not looking up from her examination, Lily frowned at him. "Did you say you got this from your dad? Where did he get it from?"

"His dad. He says it's been in our family for generations."

"But...that's impossible." And then, turning to him, "James, haven't you ever thought it was odd? Cloaks like this don't last for more than a year or two."

"It's just special, I guess." James shrugged again, looking uninterested. "I never really asked my dad about it. I was just excited to get it when I started school; he hardly ever let me touch it when I was little."

Groaning obnoxiously, Sirius pushed his way through James and Lily, ending their conversation. "Alright, alright, we need a little less caring about where the cloak came from and more about what we're going to do with it. I'm sick of the Shrieking Shack; let's do something more exciting. Mooney, do you have the map?"

Remus held up a folded yellowed parchment with the words "Maurader's Map" written in a thin script.

Lily looked at them curiously. "What's that?" she asked.

"The Maurader's Map," Remus explained. "Created by yours truly, Misters Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. This baby tells you every secret passage along with where every student and teacher are in this school. It's what Prongs here should had had the night you two got caught, but I guess he got a little cocky."

James gave a sarcastic laugh. "Funny, Mooney."

Remus grinned. "I try. But the main point is, with this map, we won't get caught."

"Alright," Lily exclaimed. "Let's go." She beamed at James, who looked happier than she had ever seen him. He grabbed her hand, and the five of them silently left the dormitories.

The map that Remus clutched tightly in his hands was as incredible as the cloak that barely covered the five of them as they moved through the hallways. Footprints with their names above them marked their exact location as they passed the Prefect's bathroom and headed toward the tunnel that she and James had snuck out of. Lily looked at the part of the map that marked Dumbledore's office at the other end of the school, where he seemed to be pacing back and forth. The rest of the students and teachers, as she would have expected, were safety tucked in their beds.

When they finally arrived outside in the chilly night air, they remained under the cloak in case anyone with a case of sleeplessness was looking out the windows. As Lily gazed at it through the shear cloth, her heart began pounding as their neared the Forbidden Forrest, eerily set in fog and blackness. They couldn't possibly be going there, she thought. It was Forbidden for a reason, and while she was bold enough to sneak out of their beds, she didn't think she had the bravery to face whatever lived in that forest.

Right as they neared the edge of the trees, James pulled the cloak off of them. "We're not going in here, are we," Lily said, more of a hopeful statement than a question.

"We'll be fine. I came in here with Hagrid one time for detention. No big deal," Sirius assured her. His voice, however, was not one that she wanted to trust—it was filled with excitement for the adventure rather than a responsible contemplation.

"James," she whispered, turning to him. But he was no better; his eyes danced with restlessness, as if they couldn't get through the cover of trees fast enough. She knew she should turn around, she knew she should wait for them while they went in. After all, she wasn't afraid of staying by herself outside the forest; it was what lay inside that she was wary of. They didn't call it the Forbidden Forest for nothing. But before she knew what she was doing, she had taken a deep breath and stepped forward with the others onto the dirt ground. The hoot of an owl startled her, and she felt James' fingers weave through her own in comfort.

"This way," Sirius told them valiantly. Peter and Remus followed him through a thicket of bushes, while James and Lily lingered behind a little bit.

"You alright?" James asked her. He seemed concerned now, as if he had just realized where he had taken her.

"Fine," Lily told him, not untruthfully. There was peace in the Forest that she could have never imagined. Nothing sprang out of the bushes like she had expected them to. Nothing made shrieking noises from a mile away. It was just quiet set under a sky full of stars, as calm and tranquil as a gently moving river.

They kept moving through the scattered trees. Every few seconds, James would glance behind his back. Whether that was because he was marking where they had gone or was making sure they were alone, Lily did not want to think about. Peter, with his wide eyes and washed out face, looked torn between two emotions—part of him did not want to be in this forest in the least while the other part of him would rather die than tear himself apart from his only friends.

"Let's sit," James yelled to Sirius, who was much farther ahead. "We're going to get lost if we go any farther."

The five of them sat down on some rocks that looked like they had been placed in a circle for that very purpose. Lily shuttered at the thought of some other creatures in the forest gathering in this spot.

"Who's scared?" Sirius laughed. Peter raised a shaky hand, but quickly retracted it when he saw that no one else had followed.

Lily leaned against James, who placed a strong arm around her waist. "Having fun?"

She nodded, and turned around to look at him. And then, as her eyes caught sight of figures moving toward them, she let out a shriek of terror. It was a pack of centaurs, half man and half horse, with arrows pointed menacingly at them. All five of them jumped to their feet, shaking.

"Why are you in our forest?" asked the lead centaur, with long brown hair that fell to his shoulders and dark eyes that in the dark seemed to not be there at all.

"W...w...we were just leaving," Lily stammered. The centaur's gaze fell on her, and she felt a coldness surround her.

"Were you now? Didn't your Headmaster tell you to not come into the Forest? Especially at night, foolish ones..."

"They're just fawns," replied another. He looked exactly the same as the leader, although his hair was blonde and the fur on his lower half was light as well. "Probably had no idea what they were getting themselves in to."

"Shouldn't all creatures be held accountable to his or her mistakes?" bellowed the leader. Peter jumped back in surprise, the muscles in his legs twitching sideways like he was considering running away.

"But like he said, we are only children," Lily told him quickly. She stepped forward, and felt James' cautioning hand on her arm. She bowed her head, keeping her eyes locked on the leader. "Please, we mean you no harm, only respect. We want nothing to fear here in this Forest."

The leader smiled unkindly, showing many blackened teeth. "Ah, but it is not us that you must fear, young one. I can tell you are wise from how you speak to us. Well learned, are you? Tell me this, child; can you look up into the night sky and use your brain for something useful?"

"I have not studied Astrology yet, if that's what you..."

"Of course you haven't!" he yelled. Birds flew from the trees as his voice echoed through the forest. "Because no human can study the stars like we have for centuries! But do they come to us seeking wisdom? Never!"

"But that isn't our fault!" Sirius suddenly exclaimed. "If they didn't force you in this forest, I'm sure you would contribute a lot to Wizarding school!"

By the sudden silence in the air, Sirius knew with a gulp that he had said the wrong thing.

"Force?" the centaur said angrily. The others, also offended, stomped their hoofs into the ground. "Wizards may have the wands, but they did not force us into this forest. We have lived here for centuries, studying the stars, becoming more wise, more clever than your kind."

He lifted his two front legs and brought them down hard on Sirius, who fell to the ground with a cry. Blood seeped out of an angry gash on his arm.

"Stop this!" Lily begged. James had already ran to Sirius' side where he stood protectively over him. "He's hurt!" 

"Justice!" the centaur howled. "A small reward for everything your kind has done to us!"

"We don't know anything of the discord of our kinds. The young don't see with prejudice. I'm sure you realize _that _from your fawns, who have to be taught to hate. I beg you to leave us alone to attend to our friends' wounds. We will be forever grateful of your kindness..."

The centaur charged forward, and for a second, she thought he was going to knock her to the ground as well. But he stopped two inches short of her face, breathing heavy as his eyes stared deep into his. "Your words have saved you, young one. Do not return to this forest again."

Only when she nodded did he break away. He signaled to his pack and with a howl into the night air they took off back where they had come from.

Lily barely had time to catch her breath when James grabbed her by the wrist. "He's hurt bad. We have to get Hagrid. Wormtail, Moony, stay here with him. Keep him conscious."

And then they were off, running through the forest with the gracefulness and quickness of the creatures that lived in it. It seemed to take forever to reach Hagrid's small wooden hut just outside the trees, but when they saw it they sprinted toward the door and began pounding on it with urgency.

"Wha' the...who is it?" said a gruff voice on the other side.

"Hagrid! It's James!" James yelled.

The door swung open, revealing Hagrid, shocked to see them. He was a giant of a man, towering over the two of them. The beard on his chin was thick and messy, making it so you could barely see his mouth. But despite his size, it was his eyes that had called Lily's attention, so kind, so filled with eagerness to help any creature that needed it.

"James! Lily!" he snapped. "Wha' are you doin' 'ere?"

"Hagrid, Sirius is hurt!" Lily cried. "In the Forbidden Forrest!"

Without another word, they hurried out the door, with James leading the way. They reached the tree that had a groaning Sirius underneath. His arm looked worse than when they had left him; a steady stream of thick, red blood was oozing out of the wound into the dirt below.

"Wha' are you kids doin' out 'ere?" Hagrid yelled. "Tryin' ta get 'urselves killed? Wha' happened?"

"Centaurs," Remus replied in a shaky voice.

The giant man scooped Sirius up in his arms and carried him to his hut, where he set him gently on his bed, which, like the rest of Hagrid's things, was three the regular size. There was an umbrella laying on the table next to the fire, and Hagrid picked up, and examined it, as if he was contemplating something. Then he shook his head and he set it back down, heading toward the fire where he manually heated up a kettle of boiling water to clean the wound.

"Don' know what you 'ere thinkin', comin' out 'ere alone in the middle o' the night. 'Specially you two," Hagrid said, pointing a large, sausage-like finger at James and Lily.

"Oh, come on, Hagrid," Sirius said quietly, the first words that weren't groans that they had heard out of him. "We were just having a little bit of fun."

"Ya, well that's all I need, losin' one o' ya," he replied, thick emotion filling his voice. He quickly busied himself with wetting what looked like to be a pillowcase, which he gently dabbed on Sirius' throbbing arm.

"I'll do that," Lily told him, grabbing it out of his hands. As she began where Hagrid at left off, she tried not to snap at Sirius who did not fail to mention how much it burned when the hot water touched his raw skin. "We're sorry about coming out here, Hagrid," she said softly, not looking at him for fear catching a glimpse of the disappointment in his face.

"Wha' are you doin' 'ere anyway, Lily. Thought ya didn't like these lot," Hagrid asked.

"Er, well," said James. "We're kinda together now."

A whoop of happiness from Hagrid rocked the house, and Fang, his bloodhound, charged under the table, apparently thinking the booming voice was thunder. He pulled James and Lily into a tight hug, squeezing the air out of both their lungs.

"Hagrid, we can't breathe," she managed to tell him.

He let them drop to the ground. "'Bout time, it is! I've been sayin' since I met ya you'd be a couple one day. Didn't I tell ya, Remus?"

"Yeah," Remus replied as he collapsed on the big furry couch where Peter had just sat down.

"How you doing, Sirius?" Peter asked.

Sirius gave one of his apathetic shrugs. "Could use something for the pain. Got any whiskey, Hagrid?"

With a grunt, Hagrid stomped off to the kitchen where he retrieved an old dusty bottle filled with yellow liquor. He handed it to Sirius, who drank it greedily. "Good stuff," he said with a hiccup.

"Hagrid?" Lily asked. "You're not going to tell anyone what we did, right?"

He shook his head and smiled kindly at her. "Naw, I'd never do tha'. You're my favorite students in the school."

"Course we are," James laughed. "No contest there."

They stayed for a few minutes longer and talked with Hagrid, and then said their goodbyes, realizing only by Lily looking at her watch how late it was. They slipped under the Invisibility Cloak, and when they reached the portrait hole, James whispered the password sharply. The Fat Lady seemed drowsy and out of it as she swung the door open and fell back to sleep with a loud snore.

"Let me change that bandage again, Padfoot," Lily told him as he collapsed on the couch in pain. She pulled out her wand and gently cleaned his wound and then wrapped it up neatly.

"I knew we kept you around for a reason. These three would have let me die from an infection," said Sirius with an appreciative smile.

"You might want to see Madam Pompfry tomorrow just in case. I don't know how skilled I am about getting the wound completely clean," said Lily.

James rolled his eyes. "And tell her what? That he fell? Cause I have a feeling she won't believe that."

"Just trying to be the responsible one. Besides, she won't press you for details. How could she if she wants students to come to her no matter what? Hexes gone bad, students sneaking out and getting hurt...it's all part of the job description for her."

"Thanks, Lily," Sirius told her. "But I think I'm fine. I'll let you know if it doesn't get better."

Lily smiled and nodded at him, but ignored James' soft touch on her arm. If he was going to put getting in trouble over the well-being of his friend, even in a moment of ignorance of the seriousness of the injury, she didn't want to speak with him for awhile. "Going to bed," she mumbled. "Glad you're alright, Sirius. G'night."

"Night," the three boys replied as she hurried to the girls' staircase.

"Lily."

She turned back. "If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be alive right now," James told her. "So thank you."

Lily shrugged. "No big deal." And then, he held his arms out a little bit, his eyes pleading. She gave in, falling into them with a sigh.

"I love you," he whispered. The sound of the words was barely caught by her ears, but she would have known regardless—the feelings seemed to pour out of him.

"Love you too." These words were often spoken throughout the castle by two hormone-driven teenagers, but to her they actually meant something. As intimate as sex, as personal as a secret diary. Not irrational, not spoken only because it was the right time to say it. Real.

As she went up the steps and into her dormitory, where her roommates were snoring soundly, the look in James' eyes burned in her mind. When he gazed at her, it was like the heavens had opened up and God himself was speaking to him. It was sweet, sure. But it also scared her, although she wasn't exactly sure why. She would trust James with her life, so there was nothing to be frightened of there, but it was the intensity of it that send shivers down her spine when she wasn't even cold.

His brown eyes continued to stare at her as she drifted off to sleep—and then in her dreams as well.


End file.
